It’s honesty time ladies.
I do have some disordered eating tendencies. I don’t undereat, don’t have an “eating disorder” persay, BUT I do constantly have a “dieting mindset” when I don’t need to.
This dieting mindset leads me to overeat at times. The restrictions I have in my head causes me to overeat. Even though I don’t actually place those restrictions onto what I eat…I still think in my head “it would be better if you didn’t eat this, etc” and therefore, it causes me to overeat.
I’m torn on how to eat. I wish I could go back to the time when I didn’t think about eating. I just did. When I was hungry. Didn’t matter if it was necessarily healthy for me, but I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full. I maintained my weight just fine.
But, over the past two years I took on a more fitness mindset, and yes my body does look better than it used to then (more muscle, more shape etc) but my mind doesn’t feel better. I’ve come a long ways though. I used to try to restrict my carbs to around 75 grams a day and last time I counted I was at 200 or so and it didn’t bother me. I know now that its not so much WHAT we eat (although, I do love my nutritious foods) it’s how much. Basically, I have a problem stopping when I’m full because of all of the thoughts going on in my head which can cause anxiety. I’m still maintaing though, so its not every meal. Just sometimes.
I vary b/w trying to eat intuitively (Which usually eventually leads to me overeating) and just eating when I’m hungry. However, I think it’s because I wait toooo long to eat and then just overeat. I’m not sure.
I also do really well with eating 5-6 meals a day. I eat at certain times even if Im not so hungry. It works well b/c I don’t overeat that way and make my tummy hurt, BUT I feel like it takes away from what I should be able to do…eat intuitively.
So, I’m just really not sure how to eat. And I wish/want to go back to things were simpler.
Hope some of that made sense. I honestly just sort of wanted to get the thoughts onto paper (or computer).
I know I still have a long ways to go to get back to “normal” eating (whatever that is) but I also know that I have come SO far from where I was a year ago.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my gosh girl, I totally feel the same way. I try not to ever acknowledge it, but thoughts of what I should/shouldn’t eat are always on my mind and I feel guilty a lot when I overdo it. I wish I could just enjoy food without going overboard or feeling guilty. Sometimes it’s better than other times, but I’ve been kind of back to old habits lately.
I’m excited about CoolGreens tomorrow!
I wish I knew “how” to eat. I cannot do intuitive eating. I don’t even know what hunger is anymoe. And I am not joiking…strugling with this for years now and it just will not end. I think it might be years and years before I have normal cues and signals again
Girl, overeating happens. You are probably more critical than you need be. Trust me!
I like all the eats from your last post too by the way….the black beans + tacos are yum! And that pizza is great…I wouldn’t have shared it
This made total sense to me!! I can 100% relate!! I recently talked about this all on my blog – how all my life I’ve been in the mindset of dieting… it’s so hard to break the cycle. And I’d been doing so well until tonight I finally cracked a little and overate. Oh well… I guess as long as we pick ourselves up and forgive ourselves for these little slips, it’s all ok. Even though I like to boast and say I let myself eat anything, I secretly still think sugar is bad and made a sugary dessert tonight to take to a super bowl party. Well, long story short, it kind of failed aesthetically, but tasted pretty darn good. And I pretty much ate all of the salvagable pieces from the pan… why? I think b/c I felt like I wasn’t supposed to, so why not just get it over with in a quick sweep?? I don’t know… eating issues confuse me! haha!!
Great post. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t on some sort of diet. When I try not to be on a diet, I get scared and have no idea how I’m supposed to eat. I don’t know what normal eating is. I wish I was a person who could just eat when they’re hungry, stop when they’re full, but it’s just not that easy for me. Thanks for writing about this. I feel less alone
I can relate completely. I think it is difficult (impossible?) to be fitness minded (aware of nutrients, want to be lean/muscular, etc) and to be perfectly “normal” mind-wise about food. To be aware means to be concerned about where your food comes from and what type it is, to stop yourself when you know your intuition is “wrong”, and to feel remorse when your sugar/fat/crazy craving side takes over for a min or a day or longer. Normal people don’t notice, they just see food as, food. However, overeating on occasion is normal too. Every human being who as access to adequate food has had meals where they ate more than they “should”. You got it, you’ll be alright
Thanks for the honesty!
Hi Lisa, I can see what you are saying but I wanted to add that I wonder if you are just not eating enough food. I have thought this before about you when you used to journal. What I mean is, looking at your meals, they are so very low in calories and you exercise a lot, that and you are not replenishing what you need at times, and your brain gets those signals to eat and eat more. Does that make sense? It isn’t so much that eating intuitvely is causing you to over eat it is most likely you are chronically undereating. I did this too for YEARS, and people told me the same thing but I refused to believe it. I just hope you will take a look at it and consider that is a possiblility.
Good luck with the nursing stuff! Any Q’s just ask, as you know I went through old nursing school.
It’s a great post and we all should read it and think about it. I think all of us, health enthusiasts think about what we put into our bodies. When I started changing my eating habits, I would obsess about pretty much everything. I’m glad you are doing better!
Good luck with your tests on Monday and Tuesday!
It is very good for you to talk about thse things with other people. I really like what Vee said about health eating and thinking about what we put in our bodies, however you guys can over due it, It becomes such a part of your everyday that it takes over who you are and food in not who you are. We can talk more if you want to.
As always, I love the honesty. It is such a tough balance to find and something that takes a lot of time to overcome. Even then, its not fully overcome.
Great post. Getting back to “normal” can be so hard! I wish we could all go back to the mindset that probably most of us had as kids….we ate regular meals and snacks but like your Mom said, food wasn’t who we were…..we ate dinner, without finishing sometimes, because we had more important things to do, like play outside or worry about which boys we liked….eating truly WAS intuitive. Food was not the focal point of our lives! I wish you luck in finding that “normal” balance again!!
I can relate to this as well. I eat the same things everyday and don’t really enjoy life. When I do enjoy it like last night I overdo it and feel like crap. Why can’t I have 1 plate full and stop? I’m not good at the intuitive thing. I think I need to eat 6 x’s every 3 hours like clockwork. That’s how I lost weight so that’s how I will continue.
At least you know you’re not alone
Girl, you know I relate to this! I was just thinking about the last time I truly didn’t think about what I was going to eat next, and it was high school, probably 10th grade….TEN years ago!! That is a long 10 years to always think about food lol….it’s a blessing a curse to have a fitness mindset….
I’m SO much happier now that I am able to eat intuitively. I agree with you…It’s easy to overeat. It happens to me now and again, but I really work not to get upset over it.
With a good balance of food and exercise, eating more or less whatever and whenever I feel hungry or have a craving has lead me to such a happy place. (Along with exercising when I’m not sick and not too tired or busy.)
I really hope that you can find something that works for you! It’s a struggle, but life is a learning process. No worries.
This made a lot of sense and I can relate too! I sometimes find that when I am super restrictive I always end up having a binge session somewhere in there! But when I am not so strict I tend to do a lot better!
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