Change.
To make or become different.
I’m changing. Everyday I can feel it. I’ve talked about this so many times before, but sometimes a feeling still hits me and it makes me SO happy. I’m making decisions and doing things I wouldn’t dare do when I was struggling with disordered eating.
For example…
Lunch yesterday. I was PLANNING on just making a quesadilla at home with all the healthy stuff. Ya know, High Fiber Tortilla, extra lean ground beef, cucumbers, spinach, peppers, and low fat cheese. Sounds good, right? Well, plans got changed. My mom came to see me for lunch. And we decided to go to Pei Wei. In the past, I would’ve freaked out and probably sulked because Pei Wei wasn’t what I was PLANNING on eating that day and then b/c of that, I most likely would’ve overeaten at Pei-Wei. Not yesterday. I said “to hell with plans” and enjoyed every bite of Pei Wei with my mom. And didn’t overeat. Not one bit. The old Lisa wouldn’t have been able to handle her change in plans, but the new Lisa took it in stride and enjoyed the time spent with my mom. That’s where the focus should be. Now, onto the food right? That’s what we all want to see.
We shared some REALLY good Veggie Spring Rolls to start. Seriously, this thing was amazing.
I love Lo Mein noodles. Seriously, one of my favorite things. So, I ordered the kids size and got some extra veggies to spruce it up and it was a delicious meal. I also had one Lettuce Wrap of my mom’s. Those were tasty too.
Later on in the day I enjoyed some of my mom’s beef bundles. I grew up eating these things and I love them SO much. Basically, it’s just a roll with some ground beef and turkey Italian Sausage stuffed in the middle. One of these is a perfect little snack.
As the work day moved along..I had a BIG urge to see a movie tonight. Something about sitting in a dark theater watching a fun movie sounded so relaxing. Initially, I wanted to go by myself. I often go to movies by myself and REALLY enjoy it. But, confession. Sometimes I can be a bit of a hermit. I LIKE being alone and sometimes I can spend too much time with just myself. I have to make an effort to go do things with friends. Once I’m out with friends, I’m social and outgoing and have a great time, but sometime’s it’s hard to get myself motivated to do that. Strange I know. I think some of that stems from my disordered eating day. I got into a habit of isolating myself so I would stay in safe situations. I didn’t want to get stuck at a restaurant where I couldn’t order healthy and I didn’t want to miss a workout, so I avoided people.
So, instead of going on my own, I decided to call my friend Julie. She just had a baby and I know she wants to get out of the house a little bit and have some “adult” time from time to time. Luckily, she said she could go! I had a wonderful night with a friend and we watched some Sex and the City.
Loved it! The whole night just made me SO happy. After the movie, we just sat and talked for a while and we have plans again on Sunday. It’s great to know you are strengthening your relationships with friends instead of isolating and hiding yourself away. Great Change if I do say so myself.
The movie even messed up my workout plans, but I didn’t let that phase me. I went to the gym right after the movie and enjoyed a nice 40 minute cardio workout. Nothing fancy in terms of intervals. I jogged b/w speeds of 6.0-7.0 and walked when I needed to.
One exciting thing though…I found my old iPod from college and gave it a listen! I’m not much of a “playlist” maker. I actually just like to put my ipod on shuffle and see what pops up. It’s exciting to me. I thought it’d be fun to let you guys see what fun songs came up on my run last night…
Pop, Lock & Drop it: Dem Franchise Boys
Through With You: Maroon Five
Good Ol’ Boy (Gettin Tough): Steve Earle
Zee Deveel: Incubus
She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful: Sammy Kershaw
Schadenfreude: Avenue Q Soundtrack
The Only Living Boy in New York: Simon & Garfunkel
Fully Alive: Flyleaf
Life is a Highway: Rascal Flatts
Made for TV Movie: Incubus
Tonight, Not Again: Jason Mraz
Random songs, huh?
Once I got home, I was pretty hungry. So, I got to make that quesadilla I was planning on making. So good.
Such a great Wednesday!
How have you changed recently? I’m much more social and enjoy life more.
Do you make playlists for your workouts or just go the random route?
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post, Lisa!
I can be a bit of a loner as well, and that definitely came around when I struggled with food. Not a fun way to live! I have to really work at being more social sometimes.
I really want to see that movie!
I’m not a fan of Pei Wei but the veggie rolls do look pretty scrump!
the radio has been my friend for running lately but I do have some random songs on my player. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band – Fishing in the Dark. LOVES.
I love that you ordered the kids size. The portion always seems to be large enough for adults most the time. And I agree with you about noodles..just love them!
Glad you had a nice day!
omg SO funny that you said that you can be a ‘hermit’ because this is JUST like me! i acutally love being alone, doing things alone and I have to always remind myself that i should be spending more time with girlfriends, however I really do love being just me myself and I
although I have never been to a movie alone (i would though!!)
so glad you went to that place with your mom and ejoyed it! graet idea getting a kids meal and bumping it up with veggies! your so smarrrttttt
Oh I loved “Pop, Lock, and Drop It”.
Even if I cannot proficiently do any of the three things… ha ha
I think I only understand what the drop it part is. Im not sure how to pop it or lock it!
Haha such a random playlist! So glad you are feeling better about things, and are making positive changes. I’m kind of a hermit too.
I’m a loner too, and struggle with being social, until I’m actualing BEING social.
I’m enjoying life more now too, now that I’ve stopped trying to be so rigid on food intake.
Gotta enjoy life! We only get once chance
Simon and Garfgunkel AND Avenue Q on the same playlist? Oh I think we can get along lovely. When it comes to playlists, sometimes I make ones with certain “themes” or to evoke a certain mood, but sometimes I just let it go the random route.
I used to really isolate myself, too, because of my problems, it was easier to be alone. I still prefer being alone sometimes! Funny, though, this is basically exactly the same thought process that led up to me seeing SATC2 haha.
Love this post! It’s so amazing to be able to look at yourself and see how different you are, how far you’ve come.
You are doing amazing!! I’m so proud! I’ve been thinking the same things- in the past, I used to hate change, and try to work my eating around everything. Not anymore- over the past weekend I just ate as I wanted with my bf on no set schedule!
Glad to hear about your progress.
I usually go with random songs while I run, but I’ve been meaning to put a playlist together. I also recently started listening to some workout and running mix podcasts I’ve found online, which are upbeat and different from my usual songs.
I’m so HAPPY for you!! I can totally relate to every single bit of this!! I used to freak out and stay indoors all summer long. I would make up lies (I feel terrible admitting that) when friends would invite me out to lunch so I could get out of it. I would get really mad when people “messed up” my workout plans. I was a miserable person to be around, so eventually people just started leaving me alone. I’m SO glad that I’m no longer that lonely, restricted girl. Now I already have so many plans to meet up with friends and family this summer and not only am I not fearful of it, I’m actually excited and looking forward to all of it!!!!! What an exciting change to have made!!
This is so great, Lisa! My disordered eating habits also made me obsessed with sticking to my plan; I REALLY struggled when plans got changed. I admit that it’s something I’m still working on, but I’m definitely better at going with the flow than I used to be. This is such a great victory for you!
I’m the same way, I tend to isolate myself sometimes and can be a huge hermit but I’m trying to be more social this year. It’s funny how a little human interaction can brighten up a day.
I loved SATC II too! And great idea to get the kid’s portion at Pei Wei.
Hey girl – I am sooo with you on the freak out thing when MY plans are changed. Good for you for going with the flow and enjoying it. Love Pei Wei spring rolls. It’s kind of strange, I am not one to want to be alone, but I’d prefer to just hole up at home. I have to make an effort and remind myself to get out. Sounds like you had a very good day!
Your changes yesterday are awesome! Glad you are happier now. I can totally understand what you mean by wanting to be by yourself. Sometimes I like to just do things on my own too, not be bothered. Of course I like being with people too but those moments to yourself are nothing to be ashamed of.
Glad you liked the movie! I would watch it over and over again if even just to look at their clothes. Or to stare at Smith
Have a good weekend girlie!
Oh my gosh, I can DEFinitely relate to this. I will admit, I sometimes have to *force* myself out of the hermit moods I can sometimes fall into. After a long day, sometimes I just wanna hang with, well, me.
I’m trying to take the initiative more, though, and it feels great, right??! And I love how you are so much more comfortable when plans are interrupted! Sometimes that is still unsettling to me…but I try to remind myself that the good company ALWAYS trumps the planned meals or workouts.
I totally didn’t know what “Pop Lock and Drop” it meant – so my friends and I actually texted Cha-Cha to find out. At first they said it was a dance and I replied, no way – tell me what it REALLY means LOL. Dirty dirty! But I love that song!!!
May I tell you that I LOVE going to the movies by myself. People often find that odd, glad u are the same
I totally know what you mean about it being so incredibly easy to stay isolated and in “safe” situations. But that is so great you are getting out there and enjoying life and all the CHANGE that comes with it! I’m working on that too! Oh and Pei Wei is delicious. Thanks for posting that playlist- I love seeing what other people listen to when they run/workout!
Well, I do have a workout playlist but and sometimes I play random too, I really need more songs, I am too cheap to buy them.
As far as change, well I am trying to be more relaxed and spontaneous. I am a planner, and I love to make lists but I am just trying to let go a little bit.
When your write your honesty come through, you truly have a gift and I would say that even if I were not yoru momma!!!
Love Steve Earle! Guitar Town Babay!
The way you described your hermit-like ways was something I can totally relate to. I’ve always loved to be alone and have no problem doing stuff alone. I like to be out and social once I am out and being social, but I usually don’t really want to go in the beginning. My husband is much more social than I am, so that’s helped. Plus he lives with me (no, really
)so I’ve gotten used to having someone around all the time
I’m such a hermit. I like it though. I enjoy reading, going to the movies by myself and even out to dinner alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love time with friends, family, and boyfriend. I’ve just always been a loner.
Good for you getting out of your shell!
being on my internship has really made me more flexible since we will often eat at the schools for lunch so I can’t really plan anything anymore and you know what, i kind of like it more! i get to eat EXACTLY what i am craving at that moment instead of the day before
beautiful thing.
glad you had a fun time with your mom on the spontaneous lunch date!
ps. SO GLAD your black to blogging!
I have a tendency to be a hermit, too (which could be attributed to my own disordered eating days). You’re right, though- sometimes it’s better to strengthen relationships, as opposed to hiding away on our own.
I am so terrible at making playlists and when I do finally sit down to make one I usually get sick of after 2 or 3 days so I am a big fan of just hitting random. I actually only listen to music for maybe half of my workouts. If I’m running outside I usually like the quiet
I just go random with the music when I work out because sometimes I can totally rock out to music that I wouldn’t normally consider “work out” music! Those spring rolls look sooooo good.
Sounds like a really fun night
I haven’t seen the movie yet..but would like too. I’ll probably wait until it comes out on DVD…as I normally do- not much of a go to the movies kind of girl.
MMM I love Pei Wei- SO GOO! & a date with your mom?! PERFECT!!!
Something I have changed: Not counting calories anymore. It was just such a hassle- adding all of the numbers, remembering exactly what I ate, etc. So much easier!!
WOW, I feel like I was reading one of my own posts because I have totally experienced the things you just wrote about! Like you described, it would practically undo me if something happened that made me change my meal plans. When I had ‘food issues’, I would hang out on my own just because it was more safe. I still love my me time, but I make sure I spend time with friends too… healthy balance is key!! Great post and I’m glad you had a great night!
I usually like hanging out with friends on the weekends, but after a busy week at work, I sometimes want to just be a hermit too. I usually reserve at least one hermit day for myself a month. Ha, ha. Because my problem is that I sometimes fill up my days too much that I don’t have time to be alone. So I guess there’s an extreme to both sides. It’s good to find that balance of friend-time and alone-time.
Hello beef bundles! I’m the same way with being alone- I like being alone and sometimes it takes extra energy for me to go get motivated to hang with friends but once I do I am the social butterfly.
Excellent idea on getting the kids meal at Pei Wei. I absolutely love that place but never venture from pad thai!
There’s totally NOTHING wrong with being a hermit sometimes! I actually really enjoy my times to myself, like if the hubby is away for work or something like that. Just like you, I certainly enjoy being out with friends, but I like my “me” time too!
Sounds like you had a GREAT night!
I like making playlists occasionally for my workouts too…but I don’t change them up enough and get bored really quickly with them!
I can tend to be a hermit too and like to be by myself. I love going to movies alone…although most of my friends don’t understand it and think it is weird. I am glad to find another person who appreciates that!
This is awesome. So glad you got to enjoy the Pei Wei! I’ve never been there, but everyone says it rocks! I like being alone sometimes too. It gives me time to sort my thoughts and enjoy quiet.
It’s strange that something as simple as ditching lunch to go out for Chinese can be SO stress inducing for some people. I was one of them once too! I used to freak out about my food options all the time, and now I’m able to go with the flow a lot more. Even now, my mom is always checking in on if the food is okay because it’s how she’s used to me reacting, and it feels great to say, “I’ll have whatever!” It’s like there’s a giant weight off my back
And yes, I can be a total hermit too. I’m the type of person who prefers being alone, so maintaining any semblance of a social life is always a conscious effort on my part. Something I’m trying to get better at too!!
That is wonderful, honey. I am so proud of you. You are doing so well!!
Giving up some control is tough – be proud of yourself!
That is so awesome Lisa!!! I loved how you didn’t let a certain way of eating define your day and that you were able to enjoy Pei Wei without guilt or overeating. I’m working on that! It definitely helps being around other people here who eat that way. In fact, I was thinking today as I was eating a savory crepe for lunch that I remembered back to a time when I always made sure to eat every 3 hours. I remember thinking to myself, “Now…is it 3 hours from when I STARTED eating or 3 hours from exactly when I finish??” Today I thought, “I might not be HUNGRY in 3 hours…or I may be hungry before 3 hours – shouldn’t *I* be the one to decide when to eat and not some rule? It just seemed daft to me…but happy that I realized this at the same time.
oh! i feel totally same thing….
like you, i really really want to change myself more positively about eating.
after eating , i have felt always guilty. especially i have overeaten on weekend. i can not control my self. even though i don’ feel hungry
i end up eating many snacks or something that restricted on my weekdays
i thought i’m not on a diet, just wanna have more healthy body than other women . but, that thought definitely is sort of eating disorder.
thanks !
your posts inspire me
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