I don’t often talk about my dad in the most positive light.
In fact, I have struggled with our relationship quite a bit in the last 3-5 years. I’m to the point where I love him, but I don’t like him.
I don’t like being around him. There, I said it. It took me a long time to feel ok with saying those words without feeling guilt. I mean, you should like to be around your parents, right?
It’s ok that I don’t like being around him. Why? Because I love him with every single inch of my body and would do anything for him. He is moving back to Oklahoma and for that I am grateful. Now, I will be able to see him more often. But, I won’t have to spend the whole weekend with him like before. It’s a win win.
I have never questioned my dad’s love for me. I was his little girl and he treated me as such. He was never short of hugs, help, or advice. He was always there when I needed him and he still is. I am a very lucky girl.
In fact, when my parents divorced, he was nice enough to pay child support PLUS a lot of money just to help my mom survive because he wanted the best for me.
When I was young, he would do just about anything to make me happy and to put a smile on my face. He most definitely spoiled me.
Case in point, he built me a house. No really, a house.
He built this house in our backyard. With his own two hands. No help. Framed it, roofed it, painted it, insulated it. Everything. This was a legitimate REAL little house. It even had electricity and air conditioning. I don’t remember how long it took him to build it, but I imagine he put a lot of sweat and time into my little playhouse.
Complete with a pink door and with my name in letters above it. It had a white fence with vines growing around it. It was every little girls dream and it was just for me.
I had all of my toys in there. My “kitchen” was in there. My dolls were in there. Look, I even had a pink telephone 
.
My next door neighbor, Chris, would come over and play quite a bit. He was such a trouble-maker and I’m sure he loved to come over and escape in my little pink house.
Sadly, my love for the little pink house didn’t last long. The newness wore off and I quit playing in it. It eventually became the home of my rabbit, Thumper.
I must have been such a little brat. I had no idea what kind of work, love and sweat went into building that house. Once it wasn’t new anymore, I moved on to something else. How do you move on from your own personal playhouse?
It kind of makes me sad that I didn’t realize what he built for me. I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I was just a little girl.
Looking back, I think that house represents the lengths my dad went and would still go to show that he loved me and cared for me. He would do anything to make his little girl smile.
This house represents his love.
I’m smiling now. I guess even though that house was torn down to make room for a koi pond, it still lives in my heart. That’s something, right?
After writing this post, I’ve decided that I’m going to write my dad a letter. I want to say thanks for being a wonderful father and for putting the effort into showing me that he cared. He needs to hear that from me.
I didn’t anticipate this post turning into something deep. I figured I would just show my very fun playhouse. However, I’m actually quite emotional now.
That’s what I love about blogging. It brings out things and forces you to think about things that you might otherwise not.
I’ll end with that. I hope you all have a WONDERFUL Friday and an even better weekend.
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Lisa I think its great that you are going to write to your dad. I obviously don’t know about your relationship with him, but I think it goes back to the 5 Love Languages post you did: people have different ways of showing love, or apologizing, etc and maybe this was his way of saying he loves you!
I always dreamt of a playhouse! Never had one
.. Although my Aunt did buy me a plastic Sesame Place one but after the age of five I could comfortably stand in it lol.
That is how my last post was, I wanted it to be positive and just enlightening, but I am scared it sounds negative. It is amazing how things and memories and emotions flow out of you while writing. I always send people letters when it’s been too long and I am thinking of them.
Btw, you were way too cute as a little girl!
Thanks for opening up about your dad, it was very touching and I can definitely relate.
Although you didn’t mean for this post to get deep, I think it is soooo important to just let words and thoughts flow because it brings realizations that might not have come to otherwise. My parents are also divorced and while I was a complete daddy’s girl when I was little, our relationship has changed a lot over the years. I actually live with him right now because his house is so close to my university but we are honestly more like roommates then father/daughter. I appreciate that he gives me space though and I know that he loves me and is always there if I need advice or someone to talk to.
Aw, what a sweet post, Lisa. I’m sure that your Dad will smile upon receiving your letter. It’s the little things in life that count
I would have loved that house when I was a little girl! Heck, I wouldn’t mind one of those in my backyard now!
I loved this post. I often feel angered by the things my dad says (we have VERY different political views and his aren’t based off real news) but I’ve learned to just ignore them and say to myself “he was raised in a different generation. I’m one person and don’t have the ability to change him). That has made for a much more enjoyable time when we are together
I think the letter is a great idea! I’m sure it will bring tears to his eyes!!
Laur
I can’t believe he actually built you a house! It’s so pretty too. Hope your letter brings you guys closer together.
The letter is definitely a good idea. It’s too easy sometimes not to tell people in our lives what they mean to us. Good luck with writing it!
Great post, Lisa. It sounds like you and I have a lot in common with the whole dad relationship thing. Good for you for deciding to write that letter – I’m sure he’ll love to read it.
I think that is a wonderful idea, I wish I would have done that with my dad before he died. You may not have tomorrow so if you have something to say, say it now.
That was a very cool house!!!
This is a great post. Thanks for sharing a special part of your childhood and emotions. That house is incredible. I had a little plastic thing and cried when my parents told me I was too big for it. Playing in that house and on my swing set are still some of my favorite childhood memories.
Oh man this brought back memories for me… when I was little my dad spent months building us a dollhouse for Christmas – an exact replica of our house, down to the carpeting and wall paper. He made all the furniture inside, put working lighting in – it had electricity! We broke the lighting and lost interest pretty quickly, and it’s spent the last twenty years just sitting there in my parents house. Looking back now and thinking about the amount of work, thought, care and love that went into that house and how little we appreciated it just breaks my heart. Why are we so unappreciative as kids?
I bet your dad is going to ADORE that letter. Thanks for sharing part of your story with us today. You’re absolutely beautiful in all kinds of ways, Lisa.
Wow, that house is ridiculous! How sweet of your dad to build it for you and take so much time and energy to make it “perfect” for you! You are right- it was his house of LOVE for YOU!
That house is amazing! I’m in awe.
I relate to not liking, but loving your father. My father and I have struggled my entire life to make a connection. I keep hoping someday it will happen, but I’ve given up trying. I’m glad you’re able to keep a somewhat civil and healthy relationship with your father.
Whoa girl – central air and electricity?! That little house is the bomb – what a great playhouse and what a great gift. And yes, as I get older I feel so ungrateful sometimes. Like wow, I could have done so much more, said so much more and appreciated things more. I feel so guilty! But then it’s like well I was a kid – guess that takes the sting out a bit but I do wish I had been more appreciative.
You definitely can’t beat yourself up for not realizing things as a kid. This was a great post though. I think writing about issues that make you emotional or have the potential to is always hard and I think it’s great that you did.
I’m sure your dad will appreciate your letter. I think it’s great that you’re going to write it.
I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way about my mom. No matter what she annoys me and I just can’t have a good time with her. Her and I have different ideals, so we always seem to clash. I know I love her, because she would do anything for me, but right now..I just can’t like her. It hurts me to say that and I wish it weren’t true, but sometimes you have to face the truth because it’s there for a reason, and you just have to wait for things to mend on their own.
ps: i read your letter. it was very thoughtful. are you going to ever show it to your dad?
What a well written post. I’m glad you decided to write him a letter. I think everyone deserves to know that they are thankful for what someone else did for them.
What a beautiful house! It’s so hard to appreciate things while you’re young. I feel like at that age every one is so drawn into “ME ME ME” that your rarely take time to thank people when they do nice things for you. I’m sure your dad knows how much the house meant to you while you were little. I cannot even imagine how emotional he’ll get if you did show this letter to him. Daddies will do anything for their little girls! Thanks again for the fresh breath of honesty
Love it as always!!
thanks for sharing your feelings about your dad. i can relate to you. it’s hard to love someone but not like them too much, isn’t it? a weird feeling. i love your playhouse, i would have been over every day if we were friends! great flashback. thanks for keeping the tradition alive!
Oh my, that’s labor of love right there. A whole house to yourself? I only go to play with the miniature ones that me and my sisters built on the table. I wish I was your playmate back then.
That playhouse is awesome! My dad built a playhouse for my brother and I when we were younger. Complete with cable tv and bunk beds. We LOVED that house.
It is pretty amazing the lengths our parents are willing to go to for us isnt it?
My dad built me a playhouse when I was small… and like you, the newness wore off. I too feel sad that I didn’t spend more time in it. But it is a special memory…and it’s there for my future kids to enjoy.
I’m teary eyed. Beautiful.
What an amazing little house you had and a father who loves you so much.
Most of this post echoes my feelings about my own father. He isn’t always a great person, and because of that we haven’t talked for a couple of years (though if he ever just called me or emailed I would respond, whether to reach out to him first is something I struggle with) and my brother will have nothing to do with him. But I’ve never doubted that he loves me, and the older I get the more grateful I am for everything he ever did for me. He built me a cubby house, and encouraged me academically (not to mention paying for it), and that’s just the start of it. Despite everything that’s happened, one of my most prized would-grab-in-a-fire possessions is a letter from him when I was 11 and my parents first split up telling me how much he loved me.
So I think the letter is a great idea.
What an awesome playhouse! I would have KILLED for a house like that…instead, I used our mini-barn.
I think we all forget to thank our parents and appreciate all those things they do when we were kids. I know I did, and i try all the time to be mindful about thanking my parents for what they’ve done for me in the past and now. I know the letter to your dad will mean so very much to him, especially since he knows that you still hold those memories now, as an adult. It makes me think I should write a letter to my parents, too!
You’re blog has been so amazing lately girl. This post is amazing.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to hold on to the good memories.
{ 5 trackbacks }