Guest Post: It's all about the Confidence

Hi everyone! I am typing this post up on Sunday night (needed a mental break from studying). Hopefully when you read this tomorrow, my test will be over and I will have kicked some boo-tay on it. And if I don’t, IT’S OK. I will just chalk it up to a learning experience and prepare better and start earlier for the second time. Right?

Even though I’m not posting today, I have an incredible guest post from Angela. Seriously, this is a must read. I felt better after reading it.

This guest post is from Angela at Pretty In Orange. I absolutely adore her. She has been around my blog since the very start and she has stuck with me every post of the way. She’s incredibly sweet, happy and her positive attitude is infectious. She’s the kind of person to send me a sweet email or tweet. She’s the kind of person who shares my mom’s website on her Facebook page just to help us out. Yup, she’s that amazing. And if you haven’t checked out her blog, then you should. She manages to write about all aspects of her life into one blog and it’s organized incredibly well. I have been reading her blog for probably around 10 months now and I never tire of it. So, please, check her out.

Without further ado, I will give the floor to Angela.

Hi all, my name is Angela and I am the blogger behind Pretty in Orange.  I absolutely adore Lisa and am always thrilled to guest post on I’m An Okie.

I am so happy that Lisa has been talking about body acceptance and feeling sexy at any size.  Being a BBW myself (Big Beautiful Woman), I feel as though I can share some thoughts about this with you.

I’ve always been larger than the average female – being 5’10” will do that to you!  Plus, I grew up around a lot of petite girls – girls who were still in junior sizes in high school, while I had graduated into regular woman’s sizes.

I started to put on a lot of weight in my late 20s and continued into my 30s.  I now weigh over 300 lbs.  But the funny thing is – I’ve never attracted as many men as I do now!

So how is that possible?  A 5’10” woman who weighs over 350 lbs and she had a date nearly every night of the week when she was single?  Unheard of!! Or is it?

Here’s what I know:  It’s all about your confidence.  I am confident in myself.  I know that my worth has nothing to do with my body.  It has to do with who I am as a person and even more, how I make others feel.

Am I thrilled with being overweight? No, and I doubt you’ll find many people who are.  BUT, I choose to not let it define my value as a human being.  I will not allow a number on a scale tell me whether or not I am a good person.  I exercise, I eat better than I ever have before.  The weight is not coming off, but I am not letting that get me down.

One of the best things about growing older is that you really do grow in your confidence.  I have really enjoyed my 30s and the person I have become in them.  Once you realize that happiness is a choice (for the most part and taking into consideration things like chemical imbalances), it’s really not that hard to become a happier, more confident person.

1.  Decide to make yourself happy. WAIT!!  We are told, especially as women, that you must put everyone else before yourself.  Well, I’m here to tell you NO.  You can ONLY control yourself.  You could bend over backward for some people and they would still never be happy with you.  Therefore, make yourself happy.

2.  When you make yourself happy, you radiate that happiness. And guess what?  People are drawn to you naturally.  And that actually makes the people who love you happy.

3.  Redefine how you value yourself. I mean, your entire self-worth can’t be tied up in that number on the scale can it?  Is that really what you are reducing yourself to?  Aren’t you more than that?  What about your brains, your heart, your soul?

4.  There will always be people who judge you without know you.  That is just a fact of life. I know of people who won’t even talk to me because I am overweight and therefore must be stupid, smelly, gross, etc.  It hurt at first, but as I’ve matured, I’ve realized that I wouldn’t want to be friends with those people anyway, so why do I care what they think?

5.  Figure out what you really love about yourself and focus on those things. Physical traits, personality traits, your mental strengths, etc.  Dress to accentuate your positives, enjoy the sport at which you excel, and study what you love.  That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go out of your comfort zone and experience new things – but that doesn’t mean trying to make yourself into something you’re not.  I will never be a size two – NEVER.  And I am okay with that.  And even though I love architecture, I hate math.  It makes me cry.

In closing, let me just say this:

If you’re constantly measuring yourself by others’ lives, you will never be happy. You are special and unique. You are the only person who gets to be you. Celebrate that there is only one you in the world, rather than dreaming of how to be someone else.

Peace and love, Angela.

THANK YOU ANGELA!

What is ONE thing you REALLY love about yourself?

*If you would like to do a guest post that will be featured on I’m an Okie, please email me at LisaOkie@gmail.com. I will be needing them quite a bit as I get busier and busier with school and work. I would love for anybody too. Any topic is great. My only requirement is that you be YOU in your guest post*