Guest Post: Body image bruises and how to heal them

I have a test today and don’t need to spend time blogging. I need every last second to study. That being said, I have a wonderful guest blogger today! Eden, from Eden’s Eats will be taking over I’m an Okie.

I’ve been reading Eden’s blog for about 2-3 months now and love it. She’s not afraid to tell it like it is, even if it’s not popular. She’s gone to culinary school and her blog is never boring. Make sure to check her out!

Welcome Eden!

Hey everyone!

My name is Eden (pronounced Eh-den, not Eee-den, like the garden!) and I’m honored Lisa has let me rule her turf for a post! For those of you who aren’t familiar with me or my blog, I’ll give you an abridged bio of my life.

I am a non-bratty Jew from LA and thought I wanted to be an actress like everyone else bred in LA is supposed to do if you too dumb to be a lawyer and doctor (like me!).  Midway through college, I ditched acting (not wanting to be a waitress), moved back home and went to a French culinary school (Le Cordon Bleu). This sounds all nice and dandy, right?

Not quite. Throughout culinary school, I struggled with a severe exercise addiction/eating disorder. In fact, I struggled with an eating disorder since I was thirteen. It wrecked horrible havoc on my health. At age twenty, I was diagnosed with full on osteoporosis, had multiple hip fractures (my hip X-ray resembled a mosaic), and was slowly killing and diminishing myself.

I won’t delve too much about my history, you can read my blog for more about this.  But I have healed tremendously during the past few years. I’ve continued working in the culinary profession and am a certified Yoga instructor. I am not ashamed of my eating disorder anymore. It’s sad I had one, but I don’t regret it because it taught me some very valuable lessons I thought I might share.

Being a blogger (and a more “food” centered blogger), I noticed food bloggers, although may not be diagnosed, still have an “iffy” relationship to food and their bodies. So I thought I would do my part to help remedy this. Mind you, its not like I’m in a love affair with my own body! I don’t think I will ever feel 100% satisfied. But who said I have to be?! As long as I’m healthy and happy overall, I think it’s ok to still have hang ups about your body.

Anyhow, without further ado, here are my signs your body image is “bruised” followed by ways to patch them up:

1. Every time you pass a mirror, car window, store front window, etc, you’r mind begins to think about what needs to be “fixed”. You disregard you positive physical traits and instead nitpick every nook and cranny.
2. You can’t take compliments: I still think I suck at this. And it isn’t that your too polite to take a compliment, its that you don’t think you deserve it. Say “Thank you!” and don’t you dare refute it!
3. You rarely think you look good: Yep, I have a hard time with this too. Even in your prettiest outfit, you have a hard time feeling pretty and confident.
4. You play “compare and contrast”: For many of us, comparisons are as natural as breathing. But, while you’re comparing your appearance to everyone else’s, you rarely have anything good to say about yourself.
5. You skip events: How often have you declined an invite to a dinner date, party or other engagement because you felt like it would interfere with you exercise routine or your “meal plan”. Clearly, your lifestyle lacks flexibility and you find yourself ruled by life centered on eating “properly” and “exercising” enough. Or, you simply skip event because you don’t think you look good.
6. Your personal mantras suck: example may include: “My stomach is gross.” “My thighs are enormous!” “Yes, I love air-whipped sugar free, fat free, fro yo! really! Who needs gelato!” “I’m such a loser” “OMG! I want a cookie so bad but eeeeeekk! carbs!” “If I don’t exercise today, i will be a whale tomorrow” Do these phrases resemble your daily mantras?

Ugh! That all sounds awful! Don’t worry, here’s some “ice” for those bruises:

1. Make a list of positive achievements beyond your body: if you need extra reminding, put the list on a note card and stash it in your purse. Heres a few examples from me: I help people feel better when I give a yoga class, I teach kids how to cook (I want to kill them half the time, but still, help them build a positive attitude towards healthy foods), I make people laugh on my blog (I guess that’s debatable, but at least I can laugh at myself) etc.
2. Hang out with positive people and positive blogs: There are countless depressing, self deprecating blogs out there. Some people find this entertaining but personally, I just find I want to shoot myself after reading them! Find positive blogs (yes, I know its a little embarrassing to be optimistic) or at least ones that make you smile. Some blogs preach dangerous advice about diets and all that too. Don’t believe everything you read. Don’t let the extreme diets of other influence yours.
3. Make exercise fulfilling, not punishing: don’t think you NEED to exercise to justify eating. I like what Lisa has done with her “primal fitness”. Find activities that bring you joy and take you outside. Hiking, kayaking, skiing, even playing with your “skip it” (does anybody remember that?). Step away from the elliptical and engage in activities where there isn’t a screen in front of you telling you how many calories you burned. And some bloggers might kill me for saying this, but ditch you pedometer, heart-rate monitor, etc. It all feeds that exercise obsession. WHO CARES!? Well, I still admit I do, but ditching those things helps to care less about them.
4. Write down negative thoughts and burn them: I did this a few times and oddly enough, it feels liberating! You don’t have to go all pyro, you can squash it, tear it up, punch it, heck use a gun if you have too (although I’m all for gun control). Don’t waste your time being consumed by these negative thoughts, do what you have to do to get rid of them.
5. Your time is valuable, use it wisely: All this self criticism, worrying about eating, not eating, weight, exercise, and negativity strips you of valuable time. I often think of all the endless hours I’ve spent on a treadmill, going nowhere! I could have gone to volunteer at an animal shelter, studied, read a good book, spend time with a loved one. So many missed opportunities. Life is short, use your time wisely.

I’m hope I didn’t offended anyone. This post was raw and honest and I took it from my own experience. I was lucky enough to recognize my problem and get help, but most people don’t even see their “bruises” as a problem.

So I leave you with this, remember, your body will never be perfect and you dont have to fall madly in love with it. But appreciate it’s existence, be thankful it’s your vehicle in life, and enjoy gelato!

Do you have any body image bruises? What do you heal them with?