I recently read a post from Jasmine at Eat Move Write. The post was about how to tell the truth in your writing (without peeing your pants in the process). The title really drew me in. I’m a huge fan of truth. I like and strive to be real. Open. Honest. With myself and everyone in my life (including you). But, how do you figure out what your truths are? How do you know what truths to write about?
The first point in she makes in this process is…
Write it down without qualifications. If you’re one of those people afraid even to utter your deepest, darkest secret dreams, this is where to start. Buy a notebook, a pretty one, and write in it only your dreams without qualifications. This will be hard for you, probably, but do it anyway. Write: I dream of being a famous novelist. There’s no reason to write, “but what if I don’t get famous?” or “but that will never happen.” Just write it and let your dreams be known, even if only to you.”
Well, this blog is my pretty notebook.
I dream of moving to Colorado and being a ski-bum. I want to wake up in nature and smell the mountain air. I dream of that. I feel like living there would just be the simple life. Minimalistic. Just me and the mountains. And the person and dogs I love 
.
I dream of opening my own animal shelter. In college, I volunteered at animal shelters about 3 times a week. It was my haven. Playing with animals has a way of de-stressing me. When you see the joy in these animals, even though they are in cages most of the day, it gives you a new perspective on life. Seeing animals be animals is a special event. I want to experience that on a daily basis and save those special babies.
I dream of living in a world with no judgements. No judgements based on race, sexuality, income. Let people decide how they want to live their life and be open about it.
I dream of being 100% completely ok with food. I’m not 100 percent. I still struggle with food sometimes. I’m 100% better than I used to be, but I still have my issues. In fact, last week was a week where I struggled. I was stressed and took my stress out on food. I overeate. I ate for the wrong reasons. I started feeling anxious about my food choices. Want to know why I’m better though? I recognized it. I didn’t let myself berate myself for overeating on unhealthy things. I reached out to friends. I emailed Tina about my struggles and her email back helped incredibly. I learned from it and moved on. Food does not control my life anymore–I have come so far.
I dream of a day where I don’t secretly want to be this thin anymore.
This was close to my thinnest. I don’t want to live that life, and even though I threw away all my clothes that don’t fit me anymore from that time in my life…sometimes I wish I could magically be that thin. I’m not willing to do what it takes to be that way though. I’m much happier now. Just wish that thought would go away.
I dream of going to Nursing School. And ya know what? I’m doing it. I made a 98 on my second Anatomy test. Maybe I’m made for this?!
I dream of having sex in Oklahoma Memorial Stadium. (sorry mom). I’ve always wanted to go into the stadium at night and do it. Yep, that’s my fantasy. You can bet there would be fireworks if that happened. My two college boyfriends wouldn’t do it though. Scared of getting caught. Babies.
Me and Sean used to go run these stairs when we were both in schools. I loved it and hated it at the same time. I’d crank up the Eye of the Tiger and sprint up those things. Loved it.
I am not a go-go-go person. This is something I’ve realized now that my life is go go go. I’m more of a go-rest-go-rest kind of gal. Oh, I’ve also learned I don’t handle stress well. I NEED MY DOWN TIME.
Because of the above confession, I am nervous about having kids someday. I want one. But, it seems like having a child would be stressful. And make your life very “go go go.” That scares me. Could I handle that?
I dream of having long flowing hair. Like Julie, from Peanut Butter Fingers.
I dream of being a wonderful mother someday (even though now I’m nervous as heck about it).
I dream of living somewhere else. I love Oklahoma, I do. But, I’d feel like my life wasn’t complete if I didn’t move and experience living somewhere else. Qualifications: Either lots of culture and activity, or lots of nature and outdoor activity. WHERE SHOULD I LIVE?!
I miss having a fitness goal. Right now, my goal is just to get some activity in. But, I miss feeling I’m getting stronger. I miss feeling like I’m doing something MORE. I’m starting to feel average in my body and strength–no fun.
I dream of meeting all of you someday.
I dream of having friends from all different walks of life. I’m a learner. I’m interested in things. And this includes people. I want to know everyone .
I dream of feeling financially-stable. I hate getting to the end of the month and worrying about money. Someday.
I dream of aging gracefully and growing old with dignity and health. Like my grandmother. She is incredibly healthy and is still doing yoga and rolling around with her grandkids in her late 70′s.
I have so many more dreams and confession. Another day another time.
What’s a dream or confession of your own?
{ 83 comments… read them below or add one }
do it at the stadium
i’d love to meet you too. i think you’re an awesome person and a blogger. come live in NYC! where all the crazy things happen everyday!
i’m glad to see you’re recognizing and learning about it. i need to work on that too.. i want to be more than 100% okay with the food and body too.
p.s. you’ll make a wonderful mother!
Thanks for sharing with us! One of my dreams is that I’d love to live in Scotland someday and live a simple life, one where I’m not overly concerned with how much money I make, just have something I like to do, make enough to support myself and experience all that the country would have to offer.
This was a wonderful post – thank you for being so real… It’s really nice to realize that there are other people out there who worry about some of the same things you do and that it’s ok to feel unsure about things sometimes! Although from what I can see, you will be great at whatever you choose to do!
Really enjoyed this post! I’m definitely a go-rest-go person, too
ha! yep, I second the stadium.
Lisa, you are awesome. I love your blog more and more every day.
What a beautiful “confessional.” I am so, so honored to have inspired it in some small way.
I love the stadium fantasy, and you really need to get on that. I mean that in every way possible. :p
Great, great post!
And I loved the words you wrote Jasmine…about not following it up with “but”, “if only”, “i can’t”, etc…so true.
I think I should do that.
I’m right there with you on the kids part. And the long flowing hair. And the not-as-thin conquest either.
My confession? I want to live in a tent in the middle of the australian rainforest. With all the birds and bugs and snakes.
We used to always joke about where on Purdue’s campus we would like to do it. The most common answer was the top of the student services building, which was rather private and had a picnic table.
I dream of following through on my fitness and healthy eating goals, not just dreaming about them.
My confession, I have developed a serious addiction to peanut butter m&ms over the past few days (see above for my dream to remedy this).
Before I give my confession, I wanted to tell you lisa that THIS is why I love your blog! I love you matter of fact honesty. Truly you rock.
I will never be happy with my body, thin or heavy. But my body doesnt equate happiness. I dont want to die thin and miserable. But I do love who I’am.
I will never love the treadmill in healthy way, but I’ll probably still use it.
I love and hate food.
I don’t think someone will marry me
I’m afraid I’m a walking breast cancer time bomb since both my mother and grandmother died of it, its like I’m next in line and its just a matter of when.
I shove everything in the closet when I have company to make my apartment look clean.
i’m also dreaming of long hair…i call it ‘eve hair’, which means it must be over the boobs. we can do it!
hope you’re feeling better…i don’t think people are made for stress. at least i’m not. and being a student is just stressful! always something looming ahead…but it’s worth it!!!
Lisa, I LOVE your blog and love this post, it is awesome. You are beautiful and have such a great attitude!
I dream of being able to work for myself, to write, to travel on a whim, to follow my dreams and not get jaded. And to open a small organic cafe (breakfast and lunch only) abroad somewhere and spend my days meeting travelers and cooking.
Lisa, I just finished reading “Women, Food and God” by Geneen Roth and I am not joking when I tell you it changed my life. It has been about 8 years since I have felt this good in my body and about food. It just drew the connections that I have been looking to understand. I highly highly highly recommend ordering it (you can get it used for like 7 bucks off amazon). I’m 99% sure it will change your life.
I definitely have dreams that I sometimes try to forget about, just because I think they won’t happen. But then I’m not working towards them and then they definitely won’t come true. Thanks for the reminder that it’s okay to have dreams… and that I should never forget about them!
I dream about having land outside the city with a big garden with tons of fresh vegetables.
I dream you find the ultimate peace with food.
Great post by the way.
I love all your dreams! Including the stadium one – because you gotta keep things fun.
I’m glad my email helped in some way. I think you are such a strong and inspirational woman and the way you faced those old issues straight up from the start shows that. Yea, its a dream to never face those again and to never wish for old bodies, but one with time will hopefully come. I feel you there!
And of course I dream of meeting you! Get Sean down here to hang with his friends. LOL
What a beautiful post!
I dream of being an author and living on the beach coaching clients from the comforts of my oceanfront balcony.
I love this post! It’s so great to hear about your struggles and confessions, because I can so related to alot of them.
Love this post!! My confession – sometimes I want to run away from life and take ME vacation. I love my hubby and my cats and my family and my job (sometimes) but honestly I just want to be alone sometimes!!
This is a beautiful post! So heartfelt and honest. I have so many confessions that I’m too scared to say out loud. One is definitely food related. Another is that I’m not 100% happy in NYC. Another is that I’m scared that Jeff will one day decide he doesn’t want to be with me, and leave me with nothing. I have no idea where that comes from. He tells me everyday how much he loves me. There’s passion in our relationship but also tons of respect. I think it stems from a bigger issue of not feeling loved. Regardless, this post really got me thinking about my own confessions. Thank you for sharing!
I dream of finding a career that I’m 100% passionate about. It’s crazy to think you’re supposed to decide at the age of 17 or 18 what you’re going to do with your life…and I found out I was wrong. I’m moving in the direction of happiness – but I’m not 100% there.
A dream confession of mine is to have 2 healthy babies and raise them in a loving, Christian home like I was raised.
I also confess that since starting this competition prep, it has made me REALLY want to do a fitness competition. I used to cheer in high school and forgot how much I miss dancing/performing. It would be a great goal to accomplish in the years ahead- but TOUGH!
Lisa what I love about your blog is your honesty – thanks for sharing this!
And I hope you have sex in the stadium one day!
My confession: I have wanted children so badly for years — but now that we are discussing it more as an actual option, I am terrified. I am scared of gaining weight, scared of being sick, scared of “messing up” the child, scared of doing things wrong, scared of harming my relationship with my husband, etc.
I dream of being as honest as you, Lisa!! This was a great post. I share a lot of the same dreams as you, and I think you’ll be an amazing mother one day. Congratulations on all of your accomplishments so far – you should be so proud of yourself!
I’ll move to Colorado and be a ski bum with you. It’s one of my dreams to live there! It’s amazing.
Also, your college boyfriends were babies. Can you imagine a better rush than doing it in the stadium? HAHA Love it
One of those college boyfriends is Sean. baby
.
First, I just want to say that this is why I love your blog. You are the most relatable of the blogs I read and I look forward to reading it everyday
I have so many confessions! I will only give a few though. I don’t think I want to have children and I feel guilty about it because I feel like I’m betraying womanhood by not wanting any. I also worry that I’m making the wrong decision by not having any. I don’t think I would be a good mother anyway. My second confession is that I really don’t love cooking. I like to bake, but cooking regular food just isn’t fun to me and I wish I didn’t have to do it most of the time.
This is great. I have that same nagging feeling about being at my thinnest again. I don’t want to be there again, but at the same time I do. I try and ignore it as much as I can.
I think confession posts are my favorite. Maybe I’ll write my own soon because it looks like a good way to get things off your chest!
My confessions…
I just recently “allowed” myself to bake cookies or something to eat during the week. I think if I eat some REAL dessert (as opposed to protein cake…) during the week I won’t go so overboard on the weekend.
AND I don’t know if I can see myself being with someone for the rest of my life. I really really want to find someone and I really want kids someday but I feel like I will never find a guy that I can love, flaws and all.
Love that you made cookies! thats a big step!
GREAT post. I love the sex in the stadium one (sorry mom). Ha. Also, I completely agree with you sentiment of loving go-rest-go-rest. I am the exact same way!
Totally started singing the Usher song when I read this post..
I really love your honesty!
Confessions:
I wish that for once I was beautiful instead of smart.
I confess that I hate that my mother-in-law doesn’t seem to love me.
I would love to move to Europe and say eff my current life.
I wish I could save every animal in the world (and everyone knows this confession)
I wish I could stop analyzing so much
ummm girl, you are beautiful!
I realize I don’t even know you but I immediately wanted to shout out and say “You are both beautiful AND smart!!!” You don’t have to be one or the other, you can have both! And I hear you on the mother-in-law and over analyzing comments.
I just clicked onto your blog when I was reading through and you’re gorgeous lady!
Love this!
I’m a rest — go —rest person while my boyfriend is go-go-go.
Dream to find a job I feel is ME. I have no idea what that is yet, but trying for teaching then move on to school counseling.
Congrats on the test!
I LOVE this!!! I want kids too- make that babies- but am terrified about the amount of work a toddler would be haha.
First of all, let me just say that these types of posts are hands down my favorites to read…!
My confession? I am absolutely and utterly boy crazy. So, I’m still thoroughly convinced that I am going to fall madly and head-over-heels in love one of these days and that nothing in life will matter after that moment. There…I said it
The honesty is so refreshing! I loved this post. I have the same fear/desire of babies!! I want one someday, but they seem a little… scary! so much responsibility!
Your honesty is refreshing! Thank you so much for this post. It made my day! and i agree with just about all of them!
Cheers,
LC
I say just about all of them because I went to UT and would never want to be on OU turf for sex, haha!!
Great post!
I’ve lived in Colorado my whole life and have never been skiing or snowboarding. EVER. It scares the $hit out of me and there is no way I’m going to pay big $$ to speed down a freezing cold mountain. But that’s just me!
Oh and my (now) husband and I did it on the lawn in front of my dorm. Crazy youngsters.
Those are good dreams . . . especially the one where you want to have sex in the stadium. That’s funny. I would like to have sex in an elevator, but I think my husband is too much of a wimp for that one. Men.
Lisa, as always, I love this post. But I really REALLY love it. It’s hard to put it all out there sometimes. You’re brave and you did it.
My dream? To release the debt monster holding down my life, sell nearly everything I own, travel the world for a few years and then come back to the US and live in a beautiful brownstone in New York where I’ll be able to write and live a life full of art and culture.
What a BEAUTIFUL post!! Loved hearing all of your dreams & confessions.
I dream of being the BEST mother EVER & not giving my food any second thoughts. Just living life to the fullest, not having my thoughts controlled by food. It’s stupid.
Love you & thank you for an awesome post!!
Owning some type of animal shelter would be such a dream! I adored volunteering for animal shelters as a kid, and I am still as equally obsessed with them! I miss my doggy so much when i’m at school
But Lisa, I also wanted to add that I hardly notice any difference in the pictures of you posted recently (you totally rocked that dress last weekend!), compared to the”skinny” one of you above….the difference is so minor! You still look so fit, slim, happy, I love it! Honestly!! And you have a hot manfriend who loves you for that
Have a good day girl! Good luck with all that studying–i’m with ya!
Thank you! I guess we just notice things in ourself more than others do! What are you busy studying for? What classes you taking?
This may be one of my favorite posts of yours, I love it! Also, you totally have me singing Usher in my head right now
. I also can’t wait to live somewhere else, and having children and getting married terrifies me. I don’t want to end up divorced, and I’m not sure if I’d be a good mom.
Also, totally did it in my colleges library, haha. Which was one of my goals before graduating.
You actually did IT?! Not just making out. Thats awesome! I almost made out witha guy once in a private room in the library, but it never happened. We were both dating people, but man, you could tell we both wanted to. I ran into him years later and the first thing he said was “we totally should have made out that night in the library” haha
hahaha yup! Specifically in an elevator in the library. It was awesome, I’m still so proud.
omg!!! how did you make sure the elevator doors didn’t open?
hahah you should be
. thats funny.
I want to be a mountain bum too!! Actually, I’m seriously considering moving to the Canadian Rockies when my lease is up next July. I’ll hate to leave my job, but I know I’ll also regret never doing it.
After years of saying I don’t want children, I realized I really want to be a mommy. And yet, I’ve never been farther from being one.
Great post Lisa!
Love this post! I dream of meeting you!
I want long hair too, but I always chop it off.
I dream of being happy just being me.
I dream of not trying to make everyone happy.
I dream of frosting….sweet, sweet frosting.
LISA!!! it’s posts like these that will always make you one of my VERY favorite bloggers. you’re so honest, open and real and oh-so-relatable. LOVE you.
BEAUTIFUL, beautiful post. I love this so much!
Gosh, I have so many dreams/confessions. I want to live in an area that is culturally rich and diverse. I want to be known for writing, editing AND changing the modeling industry. I want to be an actress AND singer. Someday I want to be a wife AND mother.
It’s all so much!!!
I happened upon your blog two months ago, and have enjoyed reading it ever since. And even though we don’t know each other, I can relate to you. You are honest, kind and down-to-earth, and these are all qualities of a good friend. After reading your lovely post, I had to tell you this. I hope you don’t mind it.
Sending love from Slovenia
I love this post girl! What great dreams – but I think they’re all attainable!
Up until the nursing one, I have all those same dreams. To a T. Did you know that? Well now you do. I also think I will adopt the stadium sex dream. I did do it on top of the eiffel tower once…
Why not kill 3 dreams at once. Move to SLC, live somewhere new, meet me and be a ski bum
LOVE YOU.
These are all great and I can relate to a lot of them. I’ve never been to Colorado but at one point in my life I almost moved there! I really want to go to Colorado. I’m also a sucker for animals and would have my own shelter if I ever won the lottery.
Beautiful. I love your dreams – and definitely relate to a lot of them. For SURE I’m scared to DEATH of being a mom, go go go or not, and would love to have long flowy hair, be a ski bum and be okay with not being my thinnest…
Thanks for sharing!! I think you’d be a great mom AND you should totally move to Atlanta – duh.
I feel like I say this all the time, but I LOVE your honesty.
I wish you didn’t have to deal with worry about being as thin as you were before, but at least you are aware of it, and that is a big thing. I know that you will move past those emotions. It’s not going to happen overnight. I think getting rid of the clothes was a great idea. And honestly, you look the same if not better to me now, but I understand that it is much more about what is in our heads.
I do think that you will be an amazing nurse, and an amazing mother.
Maybe you can concieve your first baby in the OU stadium.
My confessions:
1. I wish that I would believe that the balance I’ve found with eating will be a life long change. I live in fear that where I am now will never be my real reality, like I’m living someone else’s life.
2. I wish I didn’t worry so much about what pregnancy is going to do to my body.
AH! I love this post! I totally wanted to do it on the field too. My dorm buddies and I snuck down there the first night of school and we set that resolution, but I never had the balls. Sad.
I’m scared I’ll age ungracefully. I’m just plain scared of getting old.
I’m starting to think I am truly too jaded to ever fall in love again.
I am having a really bad day and reading about your fears, goals, dreams and accomplishments made me realize life is just an up and down journey. Thank you….
Colorado is a great place to live. I am currently toying with going back to live with some of my friends in the mountains for the winter (I had about 6 or 7 go do the ski bum thing after college… some of my very best memories EVER are from visiting them while I was in grad school). I would say do it if you can!! I hooked up with my college boyfriend in the engineering building once, but the library never happened.
2 Confessions: – I have moments of feeling like a complete failure for not getting a job yet. Totally questioning myself. – I’ve been have several long, late-night conversations with my high school boyfriend (we’ve always stayed friends but this is the first we’ve both simultaneously been single in years) and I’m trying not to let it have an impact on my job searching. YES I have a HUGE CRUSH.
I really love this post! I’m going to have to steal the idea. I really need to stop adding qualifiers onto everything I want!
Lisa… this was absolutely amazing and once again I’m incredibly inspired by how open you are. I’m probably going to be stealing this idea for one of my future posts. Maybe. I can see something like this being difficult to write because most people don’t really see their deepest dreams as being achievable and so they get forgotten or pushed aside.
One of my dreams.. wow. That question kind of blew my mind because now that I actually think about it, I have a lot more dreams and confessions then I thought I did. I’ll do a confession: I want to dye my hair blond and after I see how I look as a blond I want to try being a redhead. So far I haven’t had the balls to actually do it but I know I’ll woman-up one day.
Before I say anything regarding this post, I must start with: I WISH WE LIVED CLOSER because a bloggie meet-up needs to happen, like, yesterday. I just adore you so much, and every single post you write echoes what I think and feel throughout any given day. I just adore you.
An animal shelter is COMPLETELY doable!!!! Write up a business plan, find a location, find investors and someone to help with all the city/legal stuff, and BAM, it’s done. What an amazing way to help your community and make a difference. This WILL happen, I am sure of it!
I dream of the same goals as far as food and wanting to be at a certain thinness. Like you said, I don’t want to live that life….the frustration, the paranoia of being judged, the micromanaging, the inner nagging feeling of loneliness…but I still have that thought of wishing I was at my thinnest again. A teeny bit of me thinks about jobs I could get, opportunities that could arise in my career…which is interesting, because that was NEVER motivation for me when I was losing weight like crazypants. I was a very melancholy person. I’m not now. I don’t want to me. But like you said, I wish the thought wasn’t there. I am gonna do a whole post on this in the future, when I work up the courage.
When you go to class next, please wear one of those nurse hats.
Sex in the stadium….would sean be more down to do it now that he’s not a student any more? I bet once he’s in the moment he’d be just fine with the idea…
I am scared of having kids. Oh jeez, am I scared of having kids. I was never distraught about this – always imagined myself as a mom of two, very involved with all my kids’ activities, etc etc etc. But as I have gotten older and have friends with kids (babies AND tweens alike), it is just so daunting. I would need to feel really accomplished and satisfied with my achievements thus far….that “what if?” feeling would be so sad to have. I’m also a pretty “good girl” (never did drugs, never was rebellious, wasn’t mean, got good grades, etc) and was friends with everyone….not bullied too much. I worry about having this personality that I don’t know how to deal with. Or I worry about my kid being harassed and being scarred forever. I worry that I don’t know myself enough. I am scared of losing passion and desire and opportunity, only to be 55yrs old and feel personally and professionally unfulfilled. Not to mention the whole birthing/pregnancy process completely scares the crap outta me. I am glad I know all this, so that when (it WILL probably happen) I decided to have kids, I KNOW I will be ready!
xoxoxoxo
omigosh that was so long. when that day comes when we DO meet, i owe you a coffee/tea for reading all that.
I can’t reply to everything I want right now, but I must start with–I ADORE YOU TOO!
Let’s meet. Get me out of Oklahoma! You live in Cali right or am I totally making that up?
I know you probably will not read this but WOW!
You keep boggling me ( i know thats a silly word;) ) with all the things we have alike.
I
1.) Do not handle stress good either. I love people but I NEED my down time.
2.) I definitely struggle everyday with wanting to be as thin as I used to be.
3.) I want to be in the medical field and specialize in women and family health.
4.) I love meeting all different kinds of people. I am totally an observer. I think that is why I love talking to people and looking at blogs. we all learn so much from each others words.
I also think all the close bloggers should totally go on a vacation somewhere together and get to know each other, do fun things, and go to restaurants for a week together.
Or perhaps we should start skyping each other!
ha i know it sounds stupid but i think that would be soo cool!
I LOVE this post! I personally dream of quitting my job & starting a food truck, but I’m definitely the nervous type in regards to needing the structure of someone else worrying about getting me benefits, etc
Also I could not agree more about being a go-rest-go-rest type! I do have days where I just have SO much to do that I can’t stop for 12 hours, but once I do, I need like half a day to recover lol. It amazes me that some people love being busy constantly, when I, on the other hand, cherish those times when I’m NOT busy
Hehe, I love the stadium one
What is up with guys being chicken these days? My boyfriend is a chicken with things like that too!
This was a great post!!!
You look beautiful in every picture.
yes. great post.
Love your puppy.
I know I sound like a broken record, but I LOVE your honesty. I feel like you put everything out there and don’t try to put ANY kind of spin on it. Which is so, incredibly RARE these days. I really feel like you are helping so many women by being so real!!
I have dreamt of nothing BUT being a mom one day, but my biggest fear is that that won’t happen. Either because I won’t find someone (in time!), or because I won’t be able to get pregnant. I truly think either of those things would break me.
I dream ALL the time about leaving Indiana and moving to Colorado! I visited friends there 2 years ago and fell in LOVE. Seriously, I looked up apartments when I got home.
(Obviously chickened out.) Let’s go!
I needed to read this today, Lisa. Thank you.
Oh, and I want to do it in an elevator. It is seriously on my bucket list.
Thanks for sharing all your dreams! They are great! I love the sex in the stadium dream…so racy!
You better go buy a Garmin today! I want your next post to be all about it! You DESERVE it!!
I love this post
I also want to do an animal shelter.
And I want to open a place where women can come to get away and think about their life. I have had so many friend come and stay with me when they needed to get away from their lives and think about whether or not they wanted to leave their husbands.
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