Hi all my lovely friends. It’s a busy week for me. I’ve got tests and I’ve got lab partners to deal with. I am a part of a lab group with 4 people! Four is far too many for a group. Each lab has essays and two of the girls like to do absolutely nothing. If they do attempt to do something, they either copy it from a friend or straight plagiarise with no citations. It’s maddening. Just 3 more labs. I can’t wait till this semester is over. Next semester, I only have one class which will seem like H E A V E N. Then, I can really devote my time to things I like–like my blog.
So, since I’m busy, I have a lovely guest from Jame @ Food in Real Life. I met Jamie on a fitness forum and she has been a friend for two years now. We have gone through a lot of the same things in regard to food and exercise (having use the same trainer that gave us both issues). She has come through it and is on the other side and wants to offer her words of advice.
Here’s Jamie!
Do you know how many times I’ve Googled that? AND…
”How to stop emotional eating”
“How to stop overeating”
“How to stop hating yourself after bingeing”
Or how about, “How to stop repeating the cycle that has kept me hostage all these years”?
My first bouts with binge eating happened during college. I was dealing with some issues restricting food and over exercising. When it would get to be too much, I would give in and binge.
I would binge on all of the things I tried so hard to restrict, and for just those few moments, I would feel free. I would feel numb. And I would feel happy.
Immediately following however, I would be riddled with guilt, shame and fear. Did I just undo all of my hard work? Was I going to look in the mirror and be 20 pounds heavier? Should I go purge?
The panic, the sadness, the embarrassment. And then, of course, then would come the inevitable “please fix me” google search.
I thought that maybe, JUST maybe, there would be someone out there that would know the answer. I prayed that someone would understand and tell me how to stop this behavior. I didn’t realize at the time that the only person that could fix me….is me.
Binge eating and emotional eating have followed me even after I stopped restricting food. Just like an old friend, I can crawl into the arms of food when things aren’t going well. Food is always there, and food can keep me company when I’m lonely. And when I’m bored, food will entertain me. And fear and guilt can keep me occupied when I’m stressed out.
The truth is that for me, there isn’t a “cure” for binge eating. But there is hope. I found my way out by learning to love myself. When I started running this summer, it helped me to appreciate my body and to respect what it does for me.
I tuned in to my body’s signals more than I used to. These signals help me to better decipher what is going on when I’m headed towards the kitchen. I am also more honest with my eating and I am not afraid to acknowledge that I might need to eat emotionally every now and then.
So next time you are about to search google for answers on how to stop the bingeing, and you feel like you need someone else to fix you, you might want to search inside yourself first. You are the answer.
Thanks Jamie!
Have you had to deal with binge eating? I know this can be a sensitive topic for most people. It’s a shameful act and I’ve told select few people that I’ve had to deal with this. I think Jamie’s advice is wonderful. I won’t lie and say that I still don’t get urges to binge. I do. Especially when I’m stressed. Stress tends to bring out different sides of me. I start to focus on my body, what I don’t like about it and start feeling anxiety over food which leads to binges. I’ve learned that when the going gets tough I have a tendency to pick apart my body because, sadly, that’s easier than dealing with the problem at hand. But, that’s the thing..I’ve learned that about me and see it coming. Now, I can divert that. It’s extremely helpful. When I get the urge, I always sit and wait. I might take the dogs for a walk. I might write in a journal to get whatever anxiety I’m feeling out. Basically, I leave the kitchen and do something that I enjoy OR doing something to figure out whatever the heck is behind those urges.
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Great guest post. I eat out of boredom, etc., too sometimes and always feel badly that I do so. I like that you said the only fix is “you.” Words of wisdom!
This is such great advice Jaimie. I feel anyone who has struggled with weight loss has had at least one occurrence with binge eating. Great post.
I have the same issues sometimes, especially when stressed or anxious/worried. I go straight to food. I also have a hard time eating intuitively, however, I am getting better about that. This week has been great so far with eating until I am full. I think I get stuck in these ruts sometimes, though, because of my past experience with an eating disorder. Hopefully, one day, the problems won’t come along so often.
ps: I hate working in groups. I always feel like I have to take charge or NOTHING will get done. I guess I am a little obsessive compulsive. =P
Wow, thanks for being so honest Jamie! I think this is a problem that affects more people than we expect, myself included. I’ve often been guilty of eating out of boredom, or just because it’s “time” to eat – even if I’m not hungry. One of the things that blogging has helped me to do is actually enjoy the taste of food as well as its nutritional benefits, and the social experience created around food.
I’m a binger…I call them my fat-kid moments and I feel super guilty afterward. I’ve never purged though..just can’t. It’s almost always boredom or something emotional.
Thank you for posting!
Great post…I have definitely googled things like that!
The sentence that really struck me was this: “I would binge on all of the things I tried so hard to restrict, and for just those few moments, I would feel free. I would feel numb. And I would feel happy.”
The key words here are “FOR JUST THOSE FEW MOMENTS” — I have been trying to remind myself of this lately. When I feel like bingeing, all I think about are those few moments, but I have been forcing myself to carry my brain out further to the negative feelings and anguish that will occur after that – for many hours or sometimes days!
Another thing I have to remember: for me, avoiding bingeing also involves eating sometimes (ie. not restricting too much). I have to force myself to do this sometimes because I can’t say I like it, but it’s just another example of carrying the thought out to what will happen if I give in to the restriction temptation too much.
Powerful stuff. I can also relate, I eat when I’m bored or stressed or when I know that there is that bag of chocolate covered almonds in the pantry that I just can’t get out of my mind. I am also trying to be more honest and aware of what I’m eating and why I’m eating it. Thanks for sharing!
Unfortunately, I know the cycle all too well. I do feel like the light bulb has been going off in my head recently with ways to correct the problem. I’ve been doing much better with it all lately. I think that it may be something that follows me throughout life, but if I can stop the binge more times than not it will be a good thing.
I love both of you girls and am glad that you are at better places with this. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Eh, I used to HATE group work. At least you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, Lisa. Good luck with your exams and the remainder of the semester!
I have always had a hart time with bingeing. I still have those urges sometimes. But I agree that the main way to stop it is to try to love yourself. I realized that if I really loved and appreciated my body, then I wouldn’t do that to it. I also realized that it wasn’t about food enjoyment because I rarely took a second to actually taste my food when I binged. Now I take the time to savor every bite. It definitely helps me to recognize my body’s cues that I am full. It is so hard to change those patterns, but it can be done.
Definitely had problems with binging and purging, the last time wasn’t even too long ago, but I agree that the situation gets worse with stress and anxiety.
Great advice to look inward for the solution. I think we all want to find the perfect formula to our struggles, and it just doesn’t work that way. I’m working through finding my true self and respecting and loving that person in many areas right now. It’s a tough journey, but the reward is so great:)
Great guest post! I agree, the only one who can fix the problem is yourself.. sometimes it is so hard to find the strength it takes to quit the vicious cycle~ but eventually, you do figure it out.
Great advice!! Thank you so much for this post. This is a problem that so many people struggle with and it needs to be addressed. Thank you!
Great post Jamie!!! You know I can relate.
And I love how you point to the fact that learning to love yourself more helped. That was huge for me as well.
Great post jamie! I think you really are doing such a fabulous job conquering this and I really admire you for that!
love ya Jamie!!! awesome post and I love that picture of you in your running gear!
we are the ONLY ones in charge of our life and our problems! i love your advice!
It is really sad to me that all your girls have grown up in the media age where you all think you have to have the perfect body, so much pressure for how we look on the outside when I know all of you are beautiful inside and out.
I’ve definitely dealt w/ binging. It’s an ugly cycle. Support from my sisters and The Lover has really helped. When I feel the urge to do it, I try to distract myself with physical activity or thinking about what is causing me to want to binge.
Thank you for this post. I really needed to read this.
I definitely have. And It used to be because I was restricting all day, now it happens mostly when I’m in unusual situations or travelling.
I haven’t fully realized how to deal with it yet! But not restricting and keeping myself well fueled helps.
That is one of the best posts I’ve ever read!! Thanks sooo much. I struggle a lot and this really made me think.
What a great guest post! I think that it helps to realize that we’re not alone in overindulging at times. Binge eating is something I’ve struggled with from time to time and it really is a personal solution just as the cause is personal. It helps to ask myself WHY am I eating, WHAT am I not dealing with. It can be anything from stress, to happiness, to sadness, to boredom to feeling lonesome. A lot of the time it helps to find something to do with my hands, chew gum, take a walk, or eat something that is more time consuming (like artichokes or pistachios). Part of the battle for me, was listening to my hunger cues and also giving my self wholesome nutrition to begin with.
Great Post, Jamie!
It always strikes when I’m bored or at a party. At first I don’t pay any attention to what’s going into my mouth and after we’ve reached The Point of No Return, it’s just a downward spiral.
Separately, I had never thought about the fact that sometimes we really do need to emotionally eat. I’ll be pondering on this for the next few days.
I just want to say thank you so much to Lisa and all of her wonderful readers! I know this issue is often a very private and shameful one, and I really wanted to come forward with my struggles in order to give others some hope. THANKS AGAIN for your caring comments and supportive advice to others.
XOXO
Jamie
such a great guest post. I don’t suffer from binging but i have a tendency to nit pick and it causes the same emotions of beating myself up from the outside in. i’m definitely trying to heal myself because i know that is the best solution!
I just found your blog this morning and really like it. I’ve subscribed.
Dealing with eating issues. Yes, I’m with you. Even though I’ve lost over 130 pounds by finally starting to listen to my body and not eating through all of my emotions good or bad, it’s always a bit of a struggle. But the struggle is worth it because food can be fun, exercise is fun and rewarding, and most of all, I’m healthier than ever physically and emotionally.
Ohh I hate working with groups! I hope you get through the rest of the labs ok!
Great guest post. I’ve definitely struggled with binge eating and this was a great read.
wow! it’s so awesome to realize how many people out there actually do it.
i’ve been trying so hard to stop lately and every time i have a setback i end up hating myself, so reading this post made me feel so much better about myself. thank you for sharing, you’ve helped at least one person
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