diet time , got to be in shape for the summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY
That is my niece’s Facebook status update from last night. Word for Word and exclamation point for exclamation point.
Did I forget to mention that she is only eleven years old?
I realize that I look at my niece and think of her as a little girl. She’s growing up. However, I find it incredibly sad that 11 years old she is thinking about dieting for the summer and being in bathing suit shape. I quickly commented and told her she that is beautiful just the way she is. She’s not overweight and is healthy and active.
I wasn’t thinking about dieting or being in bikini shape at 11. I was thinking about books, gymnastics, and boys at school. However, I didn’t give much thought to my body or how it looked. I didn’t even start thinking about dieting until I heard it around my Junior year of high school. Now, young girls are hearing from the media and their peers that they too have to be perfect…and start dieting at such a young age. It’s now NORMAL for young girls to start dieting in elementary school.
We need to change this new normal.
It makes my heart ache. I spent far too many years in my twenty’s dieting and worrying about my body. I wish I would have instead spent those years worrying about my heart, my soul, my education, my relationships.
What exactly is the new normal?
-The new normal is girls dieting younger and younger.
-According to Fitness magazine, 51% of women say they’d skip sex for a year if it meant they’d be skinny. (WHAT?!)
-25% of women have detagged their own photo in Facebook or asked a friend to remove their photo because they thought they looked fat. (You can read my thoughts and experience with this very topic here)
-30% of women have tried a Detox Diet to lose weight.
-43% have skipped meals regulary, 39% have popped pills, 23% have gone on a crash diet, and 20% have worked out for more than two hours at a time to lose weight.
-27% of women have dieted so often that they’ve lost track of how many diet’s they have tried.
-44% of women are currently on a diet.
All of this tells me that a large percentage of women spend their life striving to be something…something “better” than they are.
I think it’s ok to want to lose weight. As long as your self worth isn’t placed in a number on the scale or clothing size, then by all means lose weight in a healthy way.
I’ve heard all those statistics. I’ve been one of those statistics. It just never hit home until I saw my niece’s Facebook Status. This is a problem. Our culture has a created a nightmare for females in terms of body image, perfection, and what’s realistic.
I want to be able shield her from all the pain and struggles that dieting and trying to be perfect will cause. I realize I can’t do that though. I can only show her, through example, and tell her what a beautiful, smart, and funny girl she is. Seriously, she’s got some sass and is just fantastic.
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
We need to instead make this the new normal. How about trying to become YOU? Work on becoming a better person, your relationships, your education, your soul. Spend your energy on finding out what makes you tick. Spend your energy on helping others. Spend your energy HAVING FUN. Spend your energy on bettering yourself in a healthy and productive way.
I have only started working on becoming myself (and not striving to be a perfect version of myself or any cultural “ideal” we have for the female form) in the past year. This has been such a productive and inspiring time in my life. It was only when I quit wasting my energy and thoughts on diets, the perfect workouts, losing weight, or getting a six pack that I was able to find what makes me happy. Once I opened my mind to ponder more than my weight, a whole new world entered. A world where I was important not for my looks, but for what I have to offer in this world. Not only for myself but for other people.
Realizing that I am beautiful the way I am has allowed me to ask and demand what I deserve in life.
I will leave you with this quote to wrap up this little tangent that I’ve gotten on…
To love ones self is the beginning of a lifelong romance. -Oscar Wilde
How about we start that lifelong romance today.
{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
That makes me so sad. I don’t think I worried about dieting or wanting to lose weight until about 7th or 8th grade, and well that has lasted until now, haha. It’s not right that 11 year-olds feel like they need to diet.
Kelly recently posted..A Singing Puppy
Great post Lisa!
I was aghast when I started to read about your niece and then I realized that I also was like that, but didn’t have FB to post it to the world. I was a little neurotic about wanting to be thin, but I have my mother to blame.
Your advice to her and all of us is sound and we should take it to heart!
Shanna, like Banana recently posted..Shoes-Day!
This makes me so very sad.
I had a student who was 9 years old, with a “normal” healthy frame, and she announced she was dieting. (She had a 16 year old sister….not sure if that had anything to do with it)…
I just hate that girls are growing up with fat talk all around them. Last year, my 6 year old niece looked at a picture of herself and said she looked fat. I ALWAYS take the time to tell her how smart, kind, talented and beautiful she is. None of that has to do with weight, and I wish people would take the focus away from it…
Holly recently posted..The Start of Something New
My ED started when I was 11 or 12… So I understand where she is coming from. I remember being that girl. I remember absolutely being a mess. I am so glad you are telling her how amazing she is because I was encouraged in my dieting. I am not wholly unconvinced it’s why I’m so short and am so injury prone. I will never be convinced that starting my ED at such a young age didn’t do some sort of lasting damage, but I will say it’s scary how young people start. It’s just scary in general how much kids think looks matter… Because as I get older I realize those pretty and popular girls were NEVER worth my time I was way better then that petty nonsense. Tell your niece she is loved as she is and if a guy/girl can’t see that then that’s THEIR loss not HERS.
it’s funny, i NEVER thought about my weight until probably 3 years ago, then i got obsessed with it. i just want to be free of the obsession. i can’t imagine how hard it will be for these little girls who have been obsessed since before they’re teenagers??? that makes me so sad.
carin recently posted..high hopes
I appreciate you posting about this. I work with teenagers and even the youngest of them have literally been “dieting for years.” It breaks my heart. Thanks for bringing awareness to this.
Rach recently posted..Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Oh that makes my heart ache. To think that girls are worried about their weight so young, its just so unfair. This isnt the way it should be. Worrying about diets, and weight, all it does is take away from life. Its just not worth it.
11 years old and dieting… so sad. Like you, I was more concerned with my gymnastics performance or riding bikes to the pool at 11.
Hopefully there is a change coming, though, as there is a growing number of women focusing on healthy over skinny!
Brittany (A Healthy Slice of Life) recently posted..What I’m Loving Wednesday
11?! Oh wow. I started being a little more self conscience of how skinny I was at 11 and wanted to look mature…well mostly just wanted boobs. I certainly didn’t want to diet, or had any friends that did for that matter at that age. My son will be 11 in May.I’ll have to ask him if the girls in his class ever talk about stuff like that…
Ashley @ 365 things recently posted..21511
Great post! It makes me very sad to see such young girls stressing about their looks/weight.
this is such an amazing post.. its horrible how things have gotten out of control…. at first i was like OMG when i heard about your niece, but now that i thnk about it i was only 11 years old when i developed a really bad eating disorder… its absolutely horrible i was SO young!
Carrie (Moves ‘N Munchies) recently posted..The Big Carb Debate…
Wow Lisa. That is so sad! It’s strange how kids these days are faced with all the body image media – we never had that growing up!
Beth @ Beth’s Journey to Thin recently posted..Wordy Wednesday
This is a beautiful post! I’m glad you’re at a stage in your life where you love who you are because presenting that to her will make you a great role model. I hope to set the same example to my younger sister – though sometimes it’s a hard internal and external battle.
Sadly I don’t think this is a new normal. This all was very normal for me and my friends growing up. Society is tough on women and their appearance. It’s always been this way. Hopefully, we will all teach our daughters better and push for change.
MelissaNibbles recently posted..Pleasure Diet- Healing
Yeah, it is very sad. I guess growing up that wasn’t normal for me and I never remember being around that or hearing it. I guess I can say that I feel extremely lucky that I didn’t hear any of that until sophomore year or so of highschool.
This hits home with me also. My cousin is around the same age of your niece and is obsessed with looks, her body, and everything materialistic. Growing up in Cali doesn’t help, but she also has a mother and sister who have had past experience (s) with eating disorders. No wonder why she is slowly following suite.
I really wish that women would realize that food is not the enemy, and overexercising is DETRIMENTAL to their health. I’ve recently started to lift heavy and eat my REAL maintenance in calories (around 2,000) a day, and my body is thanking me SO much. I wish I could tell all of the women out there to do the same. To start eating what their body needs.
Katie recently posted..Muscle Gauge Review
The young lady Lisa is talking about is beautiful and probably does not have an ounce of fat on her now. It saddened me too. I did think back to my childhood – It NEVER crossed my mind to diet – I just wanted to play. I like the the idea “Changing the Normal”
Wow, I guess I’m lucky. I have an eleven-year-old daughter and I can tell you this is not something that she worries about. I have made a conscious effort to NOT talk about weight with her (I stopped calling myself fat in front of her years ago because she was mimicing that behavior), but we talk all the time about healthy choices, exercising her body, and being STRONG. We also talk about being smart, kind, and working hard because those things are just as important as being healthy! She is an average size kid, and my hope is that she remains the confident and happy person that she is. She is certainly more self-assured than her mother was at that age.
Michelle,
You are exactly the kind of mother I aspire to be someday in regards to teaching my daughter (or son) the importance of things other than their looks. All of those other traits you instill in her are SO important. you’re doing a great job!
Well said, lady! I totally agree!
When I was 11 years old, I went on a diet. I was a chubby kid, but I was also a sick kid– on steroids for asthma. The prednisone made me retain water, gain weight like crazy and it gave me chipmunk cheeks…I always thought I was “the fat girl” even though I couldn’t help it…and I was ALWAYS on a diet.
Being on a diet that young paved the way for even MORE diets as I aged– I’m totally one of the women on that list: I tried almost everything from pills to detox diets…I’m so glad that I am where I am today, but it would have been much easier if I had had a healthier outlook as an 11 year old.
AllieNic @Frisky Lemon recently posted..News Flash!!
I had a similar experience. My niece is 6, and when she was at the doctor- they told her she was obese. Now, I looked up the stats, and she is considered obese. But she is healthy and active and STRONG!- extremely so for a six year old. After hearing that, she wanted to diet and didn’t want to eat for a few days. Luckily she is young enough to push that out of her mind, but her using the word fat just makes me cringe.
I love how you were most appalled at the stat that mentions sex- it is ridiculous!
Jess@atasteofconfidence recently posted..Flashback Friday
Good gosh that breaks my heart and honestly makes me hope that when I have kids I have boys.
aw you used that quote YES its so good isnt it? wow that is super early to be worrying about dieting! I dont even know if I knew what a diet was when i was 11! I hope she knows she is beautiful and should NEVER worry about things like that
Girls at 11 should be worrying about doing well in school and hanging out with friends, movies, sports, dancing, art, music, NOT dieting
Love this post and the drive to change things for all the girls growing up behind us, Lisa. I wrote something similar today too! It breaks my heart to think my own daughters might grow up to think like that one day… if I don’t get my dream of boys, boys and only boys!!
Laura recently posted..Ohhhhh Laura
That makes me so sad and seems so young, then I remember that my parents put me on a diet when I was 10 and I became VERY AWARE very quickly about weight, calories, etc. boo. i hate that other little girls are this way too – and WOW to know little girls her age are posting this? so sad.
fittingbackin recently posted..My Third Anniversary- Three Reasons Why Wednesday- Pupper Pics
Couldn’t agree more! Thanks for the post & hopefully you can be a positive influence on your niece!
I love your blog, Lisa, and this post is fantastic. I, too, feel so sad for young girls struggling with this stuff. At 11, I was swimming and just having a blast with friends…definitely not dieting! I hope she realizes what a great person she is…no matter her weight.
Jess (In My Healthy Opinion) recently posted..Cursed
What a fantastic post. Well said!
Kelli @ Howdy from NYC recently posted..Mexican Food in NYC
Wow… I can’t believe your niece is writing that at just 11 years old. I don’t think I even thought about dieting until my senior year of high school, and even then I didn’t have a good grasp on what dieting really was. It’s awful that those thoughts are starting at such a young age.
I’m guilty of trying different diets and un-tagging myself from unflattering facebook pictures. This might sound odd, but when I stop caring so much about my weight (and focus more on eating healthy and feeling strong), I feel guilty that I don’t care enough to do more to try to lose weight. I think there is such pressure to always be trying to achieve a certain weight. I think this is a great post, and it’s important to be aware of those statistics.
Jessica recently posted..3 Easy Miles or Jelly Legs
Wow. That’s just frightening. Eleven years old. I am thankful that I have sons and not daughters, though I realize boys are not exempt. But truly, it’s just scary.
Christine @ Merf In Progress recently posted..Triumphant Return to C25K
Great post, Lisa. Truly! We need to be having more discussions like this EVERY DAY.
darryn recently posted..side bar- girl muscles
This makes me sad, but I’m so glad you posted this. I have 3 nieces, the oldest is 6, and I know there will come a time when she is worried about her body. I just want to protect them from the harmful thoughts at such a young age. I certainly wasn’t thinking about my body image when I was 11…a few years later, yes, but I want them to be able to enjoy their childhood! I think we can all be role models for the younger people in our lives…
Dorry recently posted..Good Runnings
This is so sad! I can’t believe 11-year olds have such concerns. I don’t remember me having such thoughts at 11. Of course I didn’t have facebook or even a computer or cell phone at that age. O tempora, o mores as the Romans would say…
Melie recently posted..Marathon Training- Day 2
I remember crying the first time I had to put on a pair of Juniors 7s, and I was 12 years old. Thank you, puberty, for giving me hips overnight. My mom explained that was what happened, that my body was changing because I had started to hit puberty. With that explanation I quickly got over it and then just kept gaining. I didn’t diet until college and have been ever since.
I think it’s horrible that kids feel they need to diet so early and you’re right – I think we need to change that so it’s not the “norm”.
Di recently posted..Is it Friday Yet
This makes me so incredibly sad to see. I can relate to it though. ED have been a part of my family for many years. I remember at a young age hearing my mom and my grandmother (her mom) constantly talking about weight and if they looked fat in something, etc. It was non-stop. I heard it all the time. I think I got so frustrated hearing about it that I removed myself. However, other family members were not able to are still effected today. It makes me REALLY sad to see this. I think there needs to be more education in schools about ED and more embrace about loving bodies, etc. I am so afraid to have a daughter. I know for a fact though that I will not speak fat talk anywhere near her or do anything like that. I would like to have it not exsist in my family anymore.
Hope recently posted..Happy Valentine’s Day!…
That is so sad.. Makes my heart ache.
Marlo recently posted..Not enough hours in a day
It makes me sad that young girls are so concerned with their weight and hope to shelter my daughter from it a little. I’m doing my best by focusing on being healthy and strong rather than just weighing less, even though at my height, I still have a few pounds to lose to be considered not overweight.
I would totally give up sex for a year to be “skinny” – but that’s only because my husband and I are just too darn busy and tired to be “gettin’ busy” all the time, so since I’m already not having (much) sex, might as well be down to a healthier weight.
Jo recently posted..Decisions- Decisions
What can I say? You said it all. Fantastic post!
Tracy @ Commit To Fit recently posted..Cross Training with Aqua Fitness
Oh how I wish you were joking! It saddens me so much to see girls go through things like this at such a young age. I never gave any thought to my weight or to dieting until I was in high school and even then, I shouldn’t have. I’ve never been “overweight,” I’ve just never been perfect and that is something I am learning to overcome everyday.
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” <- LOVE this!
The pressure on young girls today comes from just about every angle. I actually recently had a little talk with my mother about "fat talk" in front of my little sister. I tried to tell her that the more my sis hears her complain about her body and what she doesn't like about it, the more she will think that it is completely natural and acceptable to feel uncomfortable in her body. It is so hard to "unlearn" this body image perspective and all I want to do is protect her from it for as long as I possibly can.
Heather recently posted..What I Ate Wednesday- Raw Oat Groats & Tricky Tempeh
This post makes me so sad! It’s bad enough that girls are usually pretty body-conscious by their teens, but 11 is just too young! Your niece is lucky to have a great healthy living role model like you!
Jamie @ getalivingsense recently posted..Cheese- Please!
Yes for a new normal! I teach high school and I have noticed that a group of girls who are all friends have started frequenting the gym. Which is fine, but I casually asked what the new interest in the gym was since they all play sports as it is, they said its because they think they are fat! Horrible!! I need to do an operation beautiful style intervention!
That’s so sad! I wasn’t thinking about that when I was 11! I was having fun in gymnastics, and liked baking cookies with my mom!
I active and healthy, and definitely not thinking about weight. That’s so sad 
I’m doing a short movie about the selfestem and your text really inspired me
Great job