For a long time, I was stuck in the comparison trap. It’s almost impossible not too.
Sadly, the comparison trap doesn’t just stop at our physical appearance. That’s a given. We see bloggers who have amazing bodies that seem to come so easily. We see friends with long lean legs and we are envious. We see celebrities and wish we were them. If we let it, comparing ourselves to other women can really bring us down. We will never be them. We can only be us. The quicker we realize that, the quicker we can move towards becoming our best selves. And in the meantime, we can be pretty darn amazing anyways.
I think we are simply over-saturated in today’s world. We know everything about celebrities (hello gossip magazines), we know everything about perfect strangers (hello blogging), and we know way too much about our random friends from high school that we rarely even speak to anymore (hello Facebook).
All of this can cause me to look at my own life and say…”They have so many fun things going on, now what are you doing?! Facebook statuses about friends getting engaged, about friends getting preggos, about friends moving to England, or friends that are lucky enough not to have too work and travel the world. It can make you feel pretty jealous at times and can leave you saying “Why me?! Why don’t I have that?! When is it MY turn?”
My mother attempted to tell and assure me that my friends, bloggers, and everyone else that I was jealous of was simply putting their best faces out there. They are only letting you in on what they want you to see. Sure, they have some hardships…but who wants to show that? Deep down I knew and understood that, but it didn’t change my feelings. I felt useless, directionless, and all of those things made me feel like I wasn’t living an amazing life.
I used to really struggle with that. There was a time in my life where I was at a crossroads. I wasn’t happy with my career, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted or how to change it. I wasn’t happy in my relationship, but I didn’t know what to do about that. I was gaining weight, but had no real goals to fix that. I would see my friends on facebook with their fabulous life’s or bloggers who have everything and then throw myself a “why me?!” pitty party.
That lit a fire under my booty to do something. I became determined to become a nurse so I started the long processs of taking pre-requisites. I made changes in my relationship and demanded that If I wasn’t getting what I needed then I would get out. I decided to start running…challenging myself with a physical goal that didn’t involve what I looked like.
It all worked. I finally began to think…”heck yes, it’s happening to me now. I’m finally living a life I can be proud of.”
Perhaps sometimes the over-saturation of people showing the pretty sides of life can be a good thing…it can get you to move so you can show those pretty things and be proud of them.
I’ve been experiencing a different kind of envy regarding comparing myself to others. It’s been about blogging. Not about other bloggers being more popular. It’s about how gosh darn creative people are…and wondering, “why can’t you think of things like that? “Why can’t you be clever?”
This has happened twice in the past two weeks. Two of my most favorite bloggers came out with some amazing posts and amazing days. Kailey thought of doing a series called “The Older Sister I never had” where she tells stories and gives advice as she would to a younger sibling. It’s genius I tell you. It’s clever, it’s fun, and it’s real life stuff. I immediately thought, “gosh I wish I would’ve thought of that. Why can’t you think outside the box like that?!”
It happened again with Janetha and her “What I Would Eat Wednesday.” which is a fun take on the “What I Ate Wednesdays” series that goes around the healthy living blog world. It’s a heck of a lot funner. It’s basically the 10 things she would eat if she didn’t give a rats behinds about ingredients, calories, etc. Genius. By the way, the first thing I thought of when I saw this post…I would eat donuts and full fat chocolate milk every single morning if I could. Followed by pizza for lunch. And Mexican for dinner. With apple pie or blackberry cobbler for dessert. Drool.
I began to beat myself up for not coming up with something fun, different, and inventive like those posts. I’ve always had an issue with this. I’ve never thought of myself as clever. I hated being put into groups in school where we had to come up with a group name. My mind goes blank. I don’t like thinking of things and I have a hard time thinking outside of the box. It used to really bother me and I would get embarrassed that I seemed so dull in that area.
I was thinking of it last night while laying in bed reading Kailey’s post on my phone. She’s pretty amazing, creative, and fun and I wanted to be like that. After about 5 minutes of trying to be like that, trying to think of inventive clever posts, I realized that that is just not me. And that’s ok.
I may not be clever or inventive. I may have a hard time thinking outside of the box when it comes to fun ideas.
I do have other great qualities and skills though.
- I have a way of being ok with being honest. Even when it means telling the world that I messed up.
- I think I have a way of making my words relate to other people. I think people can empathize with me, and then use my words to help themselves and hopefully see their situation more clearly.
- I’m introverted and introspective naturally. My mind is always going and I am always analyzing things.
- I’m thoughtful.
- I’m laid back in a way that anyone could be stuck on an island with me and I wouldn’t bug them. I’m just very chill.
- I’m fun, but not life of the party fun.
- I have a way of making others feel comfortable.
I began to see that while I may not be oh-so clever, I’ve got a million other things that are good about my mind, my soul, and my personality.
Always remember: You have so many wonderful things about you. You may be lacking in some areas, but your strengths completely overtake anything that you lack.
Deep thoughts on a Wednesday morning.
Have a great afternoon!
Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others? Whether it be your appearance, your life, or your mind?
How do you overcome it?
{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Lisa, your blog inspires me. You should be very proud of the way you write and express yourself. I read several blogs daily and what I really appreciate is that each one is different. I have a constant battle that I fight in my own head. I wish I could be funnier or more outgoing and when I felt that I failed at doing so, I would beat myself up over it and think that if I’m not the “life of the party” I shouldn’t even bother going out. Then of course, I realize how silly that sounds! When I’m out and having fun I don’t necessarily hang out with ONLY the most outgoing person there in fact, I find myself having the most fun when I’m simply comfortable with someone regardless of how funny, wild, or smart they are. Taking that step back and realizing that there are always people out there who will relate to YOU and your struggles, successes, and interests is so important.
Another great post, enjoy the day!
Kara
You’re totally right, you have so many other great qualities that keep people coming back every.single.day. If that weren’t the case, you would hear crickets chirping around here.
It’s awesome that you thought to come up with your strengths.
I used to compare myself a good bit, but I don’t much anymore. I do have frustrating days when I don’t feel I’ve met my OWN goals or aspirations, etc. But, I rarely look at others and feel like I wish I could be like them. I’ve gotten to this great place of realizing that I am my own person. I have my own needs, and my own life. I need to make it work with myself, whatever ‘healthy’ or ‘successful’ is for me, not others.
This post was seriously amazing and something that I needed to read today! God works in mysterious ways
I have always felt like people make better decisions than I do, for some reason. I think I should do what others do .. when I do I realize that what other people do doesn’t always make me happy and I need to stop comparing!
Great post.. really!
Love this post girl! You are an awesome person. I struggle with this too, but lately I’m trying to just celebrate who I am. I’m getting a lot better at it, but it’s a daily struggle.
Beautiful post, Lisa. And those things you listed out about you are all the reasons I love you and think you offer SO much to the blogging world and also as my friend.
I certainly relate to the comparison trap though and find myself getting pulled into it in a variety of ways – things like you mentioned here with creativity, or a blog’s opportunities, or physical achievements, or someone pursuing a dream. Then I remind myself I can only give MY best every day and that is something to be damn proud of. You do just that!
PS – I think we have identical what I would eat Wednesdays. Perhaps we should make it a reality one day while we’re together at HLS. LOL
I adore your what I WOULD eat Wednesday. hello, dream world! my day would look so much like yours.
and you’re so right about the comparison trap. it’s so hard to see others in the blog world and not compare; it’s hard to see friends’ Fbooks statuses and have your own pity party; it’s easy to wonder why you’re not that skinny/toned/lucky/loved. I struggle with that a lot these days.
and you DO have great qualities. and I’m way more impressed by those than I am of the girl who “looks better than me” at the gym.
you rock. love you bye.
One thing that always amazes me about you is how you have the ability to READ MY MIND!
I too suffer from the comparison trap and think you’re right about the over-saturation thing. It’s especially rough in NYC, which is why sometimes I consider throwing in the towel. Just walking to work, I see 15 girls who seem to have something I want, be it the perfect legs, the perfect dress, the perfect accessories! Blogging has actually helped me a little bit with this – it’s helped me find my voice and embrace what is unique about me. But on the other hand, I sometimes feel like I’m not creative enough or not good enough to be in this world. So I definitely relate to this post and I imagine most readers do.
Also, don’t sell yourself short. I think you’re incredibly creative! But at the same time, I really value and admire your ability to take a deep dive introspective look at important issues.
Thank you for sharing Lisa!! I love all of your posts, but I think this is one of my favorites
Your blog is actually my fav blog that I’ve sinn on the internet. You talk score deeper stuff like career, relationships, passion….I feel like a lot of blogs feel the need to post two three times a day so they end up taking about stuff that I don’t find thatmeaningful so I just stopped reading them. However, I feel like when you post, you always have something interesting our worthwhile to say. As a soon to be med student, I also really appreciate your posts about studying, class,etc
I hope you love your blog as much as I do because I think it’s really great!
Honesty is important, and I admire how much you share on your blog. But keeping in mind that most people do put on their “best face” while blogging, share on social networks, and in front of others in person helps keep it in perspective.
I go through times when I think I have nothing going for me, and I’m dragging my feet to do things because everyone else has already thought of great ideas, or has made it. But I love the list you made, which is one of the best things we can do to stay confident, and think of all of the qualities we have.
What should I say? You put out those words so wonderfully.
I loved it.. Just something I needed when I woke up all sulky and sad..unable to do what I want to and feeling like a loser! ” You have so many wonderful things about you. You may be lacking in some areas, but your strengths completely overtake anything that you lack” Just beautiful!! I must say thanks
PS:.Just that I shouldn’t compare and feel when am I going toI write such posts?
I think it would be refreshing if bloggers put a more balanced “face” out there particularly since I think it would make them more unique and less replicative of other blogs.
I think you should be extremely happy with what you have, because I read this post exactly when I needed it, and it’s thanks to posts like this that I remember to think positively about my body and strengths— which is a lot more valuable than creativity at times (which I think you have, anyway!)
deep thoughts to warm my heart and soul. thanks so much for this post, lisa.
i agree, we are oversaturated. And I love the way you express this Lisa, because when it comes down to it, our best face forward is not reality. But thats what makes us….us! I love what tina said toand o, “you can only give your best each day.” YOUR BEST and NO ONE elses.
Cheers friend. You simply rock my world.
You are truly SO honest in your posts, and I think it is great. It totally lures me in and makes me want to read more. It makes you real and relatable. And actually, I just had a big of blogger envy…
(“why can’t I be as honest as this on my blog?!”)
I have those feelings too, when someone else comes up with something clever and I wish I would’ve thought of it first… but yep, the only person you can be is YOU!!! And everyone has their own amazing qualities. You can always be the best you you can be
um first off– i am always so moved by your posts so DO NOT beat yourself up…they are always so inspirational and so real
you really have helped me with my past problems and I am sure you have helped so many others like myself!
i love your honesty in your posts! Its real and there is always something there. Your blog is one of few i still read because well, others are so robotic—>I did this, ate, went to the bathroom, ate, took a picture with my husband, ate. When I read blogs I want substance and personality. Yours def has that. Your personality and friendly nature comes through your writing, so its like we all know you-even if we are states away from each other… you have a wonderful blog so never compare it to others. Your posts are always awesome to read, as opposed to some bloggers who might have good blog ideas, but dont always have consistent awesome posts.
oh lastly! i agree about Janetha. I love her What WOULD i eat posts…she is def another blogger i can read for hours. If I could eat whatever I wanted it’d be pancakes and bacon with a huge bloody mary for breakie. For lunch? A burger and fries. Dinner? Pizza and breadsticks. Late night snack? movie theater butter popcorn
xoxo,
Lolo
What an awesome post, Lisa! I totally agree with your own assessment that you are relatable! I also think you are truly wise beyond your years. Thanks for writing this!
Lisa–this is a wonderful post! I think a lot of your readers will be able to relate to it too.
I definitely compare my body and mind to others too much. I can relate to what you said about the creativity aspect. I felt like that my whole life until I heard about different types of learners and realized I was introverted and a type 1 learner who takes a bit more time to think things through before coming up with an answer. I was always pegged as the shy girl in class who didn’t have much to say and then teachers would get my homework and realize I knew what I was doing and I was listening very carefully to them.
Thank you for being open and honest, as always. For that, you are a unique and creative blogger and should give yourself credit for those qualities.
This post is awesome! I admire how open and honest you are at all times! I wrote about a similar thing in not so much etail a few days ago because we really do all go through these times of comparison and it is just so important to accept the differences and love yourself for what you ARE! And you my dear are beautiful and fabulous! ANd you have Flashback Friday… which I think is awesome and secretly wish I thought of first!
For as open and outgoing as I am I have a hard time opening up at first and have a ludicrous fear of rejection and so I envy those that can put themselves out there all the time! However now I am putting myself in that position whenever I can in order to become comfortable!!
Thanks again Lisa for an awesome post and awesome blog!
Lovely, honest post Lisa.
I struggle with comparing myself to other psych majors. Am I doing enough? Should I be looking at that graduate program instead of this one? Should I be doing more research or more volunteering? Should I quit developmental psychology and neuro and go into the business world instead?
You’re right. Everyone is always going to be doing their own thing and that is awesome. Every has something to offer the world. There is no other student exactly like me and who says my contributions and acheivements are any less valuable?
Hey! This is my first time on your blog and this was just what I needed to hear. I’m a huge sucker for the comparison trap and it goes way beyond physical appearance for me as well. I feel you on the whole creativity thing, but where I struggle with it the most is comparing my “outgoingness” to other girls. I’m naturally an introvert and pretty shy, so I look at bubbly, easygoing girls and wonder why I can’t be like them. Thanks for reminding me that there are good qualities about myself, and those shouldn’t go into hiding just because I want to be like somebody else. Thanks!
I do struggle. I am at a crossroads right now and just insecure of where I am. I honestly did a Mala last night and really prayed and meditated on it. Sometimes just doing that helps me wrestle with my inner demons and really see how good I really am. I may not be perfect, but I’m the perfect me
You’re blog is still amazing the honesty and the realism. We’ve all been where you have where everything is going bad and you just need a win. I have felt like that a lot lately too!
Hi
I’m a new reader of your blog and I have two thoughts to share with you:
1) this blog is SO well written! On my blog I do a bit more of the rambling on about stuff (but hey, that’s just me
).
2) this post is clever and is a great topic to talk about. I feel the comparrison trap is something I easily slip into, and really, I should get off facebook and things like that because it really just drags me down.
You’re so wonderful
Lisa, you have no idea…NO idea…how much I needed this today.
I lost my job 5 months ago and have yet to find a new one. I’m collecting unemployment and waitressing part time, and I’m getting by, but I feel totally inadequate and am constantly comparing myself to others. Specifically, to my boyfriends ex. While not the cutest gal on the block (if I may be so honest) she is super smart and wicked successful. She and my BF broke up cause he didn’t want to move to N Carolina with her while she attended Duke. DUKE for crying out loud. I don’t even have an associates! And sometimes if I suggest doing something that may cost a good amount of money, the BF reminds me that I have none to spend. I know he’s trying to protect me from going broke, but in my crazy mind I’m picturing the two of them going to expensive restaurants and doing fancy things; when we go to Acapulco’s for dinner (which I love BTW, don’t get me wrong). I feel like he won’t want to takes things in a more serious direction unless I have a full-time job. These thoughts haunt me all the time, and although I’ve been open with him about it, I haven’t entirely spilled my guts.
I’m not going to say this post cured me and made me get over it, but it makes me realize that I have tons more stuff to bring to the table other than a paycheck
Lisa, you are amazing! I feel exactly the same about comparing myself to bloggers, but usually, you are one of them
You have a way of being so open and honest about your life. It really is a gift and your words have helped me through some super hard times. I hope you know that you are truly an incredible person and I love reading your blog. So stop comparing, girl!
Hi Lisa! This was a fabulous post!
Whenever you compare yourself to someone else, you tend to forget people compare themselves to you as well, most likely. You are clearly very ambitious, compassionate, and hardworking, which are all qualities to want to emulate. I personally really admire how committed and devoted you are to blogging; I’ve noticed in the short time I’ve been following that you update your blog at least once a day- very impressive for a full time student!! I wish I could get going on my blog and be as committed as you are, but I feel like I just don’t have much to write about, and am worried about making it too personal. I should just go for it, like you do!
Whoa about the comment from Julie above. She is awesome & I hope she knows it! That was really touching.
Lisa, your blog is one of my favorites…& so are you
Not only are you open & honest, but you are SO SWEET!
I love that you touched on this topic, because I was JUST thinking about the SAME thing. Kind of crazy- I guess the saying is true- great minds think alike
Sometimes I wish I COULD be more creative with my blog, but honestly it is pretty hard to keep up with it as is with a full time job, trying to keep up with life in general & just living day to day.
I think you are doing an amazing job & I love you!
Love this post, girl! And I actually just wrote a post about ‘putting forth some things and withholding others’ – haven’t posted it yet though! Great minds think alike I suppose! I honestly try not to compare, and think I do okay with it. I more compare myself to me. “I’m not as thin as I used to be.” “I used to be better at saving money.” “I used to spend more time with the puppers and worry i’m boarding them too much.” Things like that – maybe i’m just self centered?! eek! I will say this resonated with me SO much: “We know everything about celebrities (hello gossip magazines), we know everything about perfect strangers (hello blogging), and we know way too much about our random friends from high school that we rarely even speak to anymore (hello Facebook).”
AMEN. I remember how absolutely discouraging it was when I was looking for an internship – it seemed everyone was getting one but me and I got down on myself. Ever since, i’ve realized that FB is something I don’t get on much – I like it – to keep up with my closer friends who I can be happy for rather than compare myself to, but try to avoid the ‘newsfeed.’ Just a thought! I don’t know if avoidance is the answer but it does help to not always have it in my face! Same with gossip mags – no more! I just read about them in Fitness or Shape when it focuses on their favorite workouts, recipes or families – similar to blogging! (sorry for the long post!)
I think we all deal with this issue.
Me for instance…I’m envious of YOU. Really…your situation.
I am a thirty year old married mother of two who works a fulltime job.
I always have wanted to be a nurse, but started my family at 22 years old and never finished school.
I have finally decided to go back to school for nursing, but I’m only at the beginning of my journey.
I’m taking my prerequisites now and I just want to be in nursing school already.
I feel like if I would’ve done this earlier in life, it would not be such a struggle now.
I am also intimidated by the compitition to get accepted into the nursing program.
But I’m just trying to do the best I can.
Comparing my situation to others only makes me feel worse about myself. Instead I should be proud of myself for going back to school.
Wow. I love everything about this post. The part about being envious of others success/experiences and wanting to go out and find it for yourself, but especially the part about the overcomparing yourself to other bloggers who are more creative/popular, etc. That is the most infuriating part of blogging for me – trying NOT to compare my blog to others. I’ve learned, recently, to just stop that entirely. To just blog for me, write whatever it is that’s on my mind and go with it. If nobody reads it, that’s ok – I’m writing for me, I’m loving my blog as my personal outlet to say or do whatever I want, and if it’s not as creative as others? Well, that’s ok. PS. I truly admire you for going back to school for nursing, I think that is just awesome.
Awesome response!
It’s SO good to hear that I’m not the only one feeling this way about blogging…
GIRL. the reason i follow and LOVE your blog is because it is you. because you are just SO honest and indulge us readers in your life experiences. i started following you when you broke up with sean. how inspirational and down to the bones honest that post was, and you continue to inspire me and so many people every day with your writing. it sounds like today’s post ended on a good note, but seriously, please don’t fall into the comparison trap! your readers love you for you!
-caroline
I think you are more clever than you give yourself credit for, Lisa. The way you see others is the way others see you. I know exactly what you mean though. I beat myself up about many things. Your mother is exactly right. Use others in a positive way (motivation, ideas, etc) instead of as a way to make yourself feel down. You are wonderful and I feel lucky to “know” you!
This is an amazing post, and I know some many people can relate to comparison. We ALL have days/hours/moments when we compare ourselves to others, but I think one of the best things you said is that you decided to use that energy and turn it into something worthwhile!
Oh Lisa, my love, you ARE creative. Don’t you see it? (Well, you don’t, or else you wouldn’t post this). I constantly am entertained by your creativity, wit and writing here on your blog. Let’s face it: if you have a blog AT ALL, you have to have some creativity. (Well, unless you are totally knocking off another blog to a T, which I have only seen happen once.)
Creativity aside, I loooove that you made a list of things that you love about yourself (actually, that right there was a creative idea and I am sure it inspired lots of people, myself included.)
The funny thing is that we are our own worst critic. I have been trying to think of a topic for my post for you since you asked for one. I can’t come up with anything and I am beginning to worry if anything will come to me! I always get a little down on my own creativity when I can’t think of anything. And then, when I least expect it, topics hit me. That what I would eat wednesday post came to me while I was showering the morning that I wrote it. BAM. weird.
Anyway, what I really want to stress is that you have a lot to offer, including creative ideas! I learn from you and am also entertained by you daily. Thank you for continually writing posts, I know you have debated giving it up in the past.. but my blog world wouldn’t be right without you.
Love you!
Don’t you see it???? I guess not. You are one of the most inspiring person I know. Creativity is not just Art – it is living life to the fullest!!!
What a fantastic post, Lisa. I love to read your blog day after day as you are so genuine and real. I think we all have things to overcome and the comparison game is one of them. I just try to make today better than yesterday and be true to myself.
Woman, I hear you loud and clear. I fall into that trap in all categories all the time. It leaves me with envy most of the time but then I try to remember like you, the good qualities I have when it comes to my blog and what I write about. It’s all we really can do…and one day, we’ll be those creative people, you just wait and see.
I like you blog specifically because of your honesty. It seems genuine to me in a way that others don’t. I think it’s because each of posts has something meaningful and introspective to say whereas I see it every once in a while in other blogs.
I love this post.
I am always comparing myself to other people. My body, my grades, my accomplishments. It’s exhausting. I hate it.
Yes, Kailey’s and Janetha’s ideas are fantastic. They were great posts, really. But so what? Your blog is fabulous in its own way. And I enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoy reading theirs.
I don’t think creativity is necessarily what makes a blog great. Whilst I can appreciate creativity on a blog (and I do!), the blogs that keep me really interested are the ones that make me pause and think. I enjoy the visual beauty of some blogs, or their creativity, but honestly those aren’t blogs that I sit down with my cup of coffee in the morning and READ. Their the blogs I scroll through when I need a little pick me up.
Your blog, on the other hand, is one where I sit down and read. It makes me think – even the short little posts often give me a reason to pause and reflect. I am sure you are much more creative than you give yourself credit for, but even if you aren’t – you don’t need it. Your blog is great for other reasons – reasons that are different than catchy posts, but reasons that are undoubtedly great.
I do tend to compare myself to others, most often in intelligence or in fitness. In the former, I am often very self-conscious that I chose to work after my bachelors degree, rather than getting my masters and PhD. Even though I will be going back for a PhD next year…and even though I know that a PhD doesn’t make you smart…I still have this feeling that I am either wasting my talents by simply working in my field (weird, eh?) or that I am just not smart enough to do what my brilliant friends are doing. As far as fitness, this was worse when I went to a gym, but I do tend to beat myself up when I am slower or weaker than other people. I have this little voice in the back of my head that tells me I should look fitter, be stronger and run faster since I have been running since the age of 12 and lifting weights since the age of 14. I meet people who have been lifting for a year and they look WAY fitter than me. I know that there are reasons I don’t look as fit as other people, and I don’t let it get to me too often; but every once in a while I do catch myself feeling a bit jealous.
Wow, Lisa, your blog is seriously so awesome! I love reading every post
. I definitely get caught up in the comparison trap- about my body, about how things go for me in school, and about the everyday lives of other people. I guess to get out of this mind-set I try to think about the things that I’m good at and try to pinpoint things that others may wish they have. That usually helps! Hope you’re having an awesome day 
Of course this happens to everyone! It’s really hard to stay positive when you’re so saturated with other people’s “look how great I’m doing” messages and don’t feel like your life is moving in the direction you want it to be. I try to find things in my life that I am happy and proud of just like you said. And know that there’s someone out there who wishes they had some of the things that I do!
I can relate to not feeling creative, too, and you know what? I think it’s ok. You can’t hit a home run every time. But what you can do is just be you, and that’s the reason people come to your blog anyway–because of you. So I’ve decided that that’s just fine. Some days, I’m on, and my posts reflect that. Others, not so much. But it’s real and it’s me and I’m ok with that.
I think you are fabulous because I hae been wanting to write a post like this but have been too afraid to do it lately. You’re inspiring – and I think that everyone falls into the comparison trap a lot, especially when they only get one part of the whole truth!
Lisa, this was truly an inspirational post. I read your blog religiously, and I have always felt that you and I have been going through a lot of the same things at the same time but from across state lines (I’m in NY). Lately, I haven’t been allowing myself to go on Facebook or read certain blogs because, like clockwork, that old green jealous monster comes out and boom!– we begin my pity party together. Thank you for this post…it really meant a lot to me! I always love reading everything you write– it’s just so r-e-a-l! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
<3
That’s good that you recognize what triggers that green eyed monster and avoid it. That’s one way of protecting yourself from that!
and thank you for all of your kind words!
it makes my heart smile (as cheesy cheesy as that sounds!)
Someone once told me “Don’t waste your time trying to become better at things you’re not good at. Work at excelling and flourishing in the things you’re already good at.”
Same concept
Use your time wisely and excel in the gifts you already have!
love it! IT’s just wasted energy isn’t it?
oh man I just love this post lisa…I think I am going to read it agani after I am done posting…I am going through SO much changes right now in my life to the point its a bit overwhelming…but exciting. I know that my ex just totally broke medown. he never made me feel good enough or ‘worth it’ nothing was good enough for him, and it made me feel that I would never be good enough for someone else. I know I am, and I am getting more and more apt to knowing that, it just takes time. There ARE so many wonderful things about all of us that make us unique and special and we need to embrace it rather than nit pick ourselves!
you are PERFECT for someone out there and good enough for ANYONE! love you!
I read your blog because you are YOU!
and I love you because you are YOU! I hope someday we get to meet.
I agree with Lindsay above me… your blog is as popular as it is because of posts like this (the ones you put your heart and soul into!) I appreciate every one of ‘em!
I agree with Lindsey above me… your blog is as popular as it is because of posts like this (the ones you put your heart and soul into!) I appreciate every one of ‘em!
Thanks Laura!
I sometimes find myself living within the comparison trap, and I always try to come out of it positive. Sure, one of my best friends could be Kim Kardashian’s twin (no lie), and I have a lot to envy her for, but in retrospect she envy’s me for my family, my job, and that I purchased my first house at 24. We all have different qualities in life, and we all envy another person at some point too. I think envy isn’t always a bad thing, as long as it is inspiring us to achieve a goal, or live a better life. When we are green with envy and beating ourselves up, or hating someone over it is when it needs to be kicked to the curb.
As my grandmother always says: “The grass isn’t greener on the other side, that is just the side that has been sh*t on more!”
You Gma sounds like a hoot! Great quote
and yes, we all have something good about us that somewhere somebody is envious of. Learn to love what we’ve got–and admire and appreciate others for what they have and offer.
I’m not a quotes person, but this is the one and only that sticks with me!
“When we romanticize the situations of others, we will never be satisfied with what we have.”
Great quote!
The way I compare myself to others is kind of different; I am always asking why I can’t “handle” things as well as others, why I am not as strong, etc. I try to remind myself of the mental illness I fight against, and that most everyone has their own private battle with life going on on the inside.
Yes! and some people might not be handling the situation as well as you think. It’s easy to put a smiling face on sometimes!
Great Post, Lisa! There isn’t a single person (not just women, but men too!) who hasn’t compared themselves to others.. not a single person.. and that is something we ALL have in common.
It’s how you handle those thoughts and situations, it’s admiring instead of obsessing, it’s finding peace within yourself instead of fighting against yourself.
One of the reasons I love your blog, is because of YOUR creativity in your posts
I love what you said about admiring. We need to learn to admire others for their great qualities, and in a way, admire our own wonderful qualities.
First off… I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog!
Second… I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! I’ve been thinking of the comparison trap lately. I compare myself way too much to other bloggers, my friends, the girl who barely breaks a sweat at the gym and looks amazing while I am sweating BUCKETS and look average. I’m trying not to compare myself to others as much because I know that there are qualities about me that people wish they had.
The reason why I love your blog is your honesty. You also have a way to make me laugh and also make me tear up on some of your most personal posts. Also, I think that you are pretty darn clever!
Comparing is just wasted energy, isn’t it?? You are great–you are running a marathon! live it and love it.
and thank for your sweet words
I just have to say one of the reason’s I truly love your blog is your honesty and your way with words. You have such a gift and expressing yourself and I can totally relate with what you are sharing.
I agree with your mom about those that are putting the best face forward (fakebook). I find myself getting sucked in to the comparing thing at times too. But I am so thankful for the life and family I have. I am glad that facebook and blogs and such were not around in my early 20′s or it really would have done a number on me. Now I take it with a grain of salt.
You definitely have some amazing and admirable qualities. That’s what makes you and your blog stand out (at least to me and I’m sure others), your ability to be completely honest and down-to-earth and fluent with your feelings and emotions.
I always look forward to your thoughtful posts!
I had to come back and reread this post today after a bad day at school where I found myself comparing my grades to everyone else. Of course because of the globally catastrophic way I think it becomes, you’re failing (which I’m not) to you suck at life (which I don’t). So thanks. For reminding me it isn’t about what others are doing, it’s about me doing what I can do.
oh man. The school thing is a new one for me. my latest thing is “oh no, everyone is studying so much more than me! they stayed up till 2 am and I was only up till 11! They know so much more than me.” Then, I tell myself that I know what I am doing and what is good for me. We can do it!
SO I’ve been lurking for a while, but read ALL THE TIME. And why do i come back? It’s for those great qualities you listed. Every single woman finds herself comparing herself at one point : for physical. emotional, mental YOU NAME it. Every PERSON does in fact, maybe women feel more pressured or it’s just more talked about so it’s more apparent. But because of this your post is SO relatable. And it doesn’t matter if you didn’t come up with the coolest out of the box idea post. Your posts are real, entertaining, make you think. I feel like if I met you you would speak how you write: see REAL. Keep doing what you’re doing – especially with your attitude. This is you and we all obviously want you as you or we wouldn’t read and comment and come back!
Thank you. Very very kind!
Just clicked over to your blog! love that you eat primal—ive never made the leap, but love reading about the lifestyle!
thank you so much for this post, you spoke my mind, i can truly identify with all you. i’ve been struggling with this inferiority issue too and it’s just a struggle to accept myself and see my strengths, somehow nothing seems good enough nor remotely match up to others be it in my music skills or teaching skills… thank you again. will need to read this when i feel discouraged.
Wow – this SO resonates with me. Just about ALL of my posts lately have to do with this. I don’t know how to feel about blogging…like I really don’t belong. There are so many bloggers, with their photos and recipes and experiments – they got it going on !
But to me – your one I would be jealous of!! You’ve got a beautiful format here, and your amazing ability to just be truly honest – something I could never fully disclose – is crazy enough!
Plus…I love the color green
You are preaching to the choir here! Lalalala! I deal with this everyday of my life and social media doesn’t make any of this better. Life is a canvas, and Twitter, Facebook and blogs are the paints which we use to show the picture perfect life we wish to depict. At the end of the day though. We are all blank canvases. Whenever I have those moments where I wonder “when will it be MY turn,” I try to remember that my life is depicted by the Almighty Painter and He is doing a great work in me.
I defiantly compare myself to others. If I see someone who is older and in “better shape” than me (aka skinner) I think “look shes older and she looks better than YOU”
Im defiantly working on the negative talk.
I have a lot of good things going on in my life, and if I compare myself Im going to miss them!
Lisa, babes…your blog is your blog, no one elses. While I know you’re not over-analyzing the whole “cleverness” thing, just remember something…you didn’t get this many readers for no reason.
Hi Lisa!
I have never commented before, but I have been reading your blog for almost a year (geez…how creepy am I? ha!) Honestly, I thought you had to have a blog to comment!
I only read a handful of blogs, but yours is one of my favorites. Your blog is one of my favorites because you are so real. You are genuine, with NO FLUFF. Something, in my opinion, that’s rare to find in all the thousands of blogs out there. You inspire me weekly, and I love reading your posts. They make me feel good because you tell it like it is. Your blog is a rare treasure that I am so thankful to have randomly come across. Keep doin your thing, girl. You ROCK.
Aw! i just felt like you gave me a big hug through that comment. I can feel the love–THANK YOU!
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