Seeing the “good” in disappointments

Clare is a 23 year old fighting Irish Alum whom I adore. She’s honest, beautiful, and seems like a very down to earth girl. She is making a new journey to a new city (which isn’t too far from me) and I can’t wait to see where it takes her.

Enjoy her guest post!

Hi I’m An Okie readers! My name is Clare and my blog, Fitting It All In, is all about my life as a recent graduate trying to navigate working full time and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

I adore Lisa’s blog and have learned so much through her heartfelt and honest posts, so I am absolutely honored to be guest posting for her today. Not on just any blog would I feel comfortable writing about something so personal, but I’m going to follow in Lisa’s footsteps and be brave. Today I’m going to tell you about My Biggest Disappointment.

I was 21, had just finished my junior year of college, and was moving to downtown Chicago for a competitive internship at a major advertising agency. I was 100% living the dream – walking down Michigan Avenue to get to work (with my heels in my purse), carrying my coffee, and swiping my badge to enter the my high-rise office.

I got placed on a team with three girls that were all super close and not quite willing to take in another member, but I worked my butt off doing random administrative work, taking diligent notes, and researching my personal project. There were plenty of 12 hour days, but that’s just the life of a young professional at a big firm.

And then came my last day and my meeting with the head of HR. We talked about how things went and I wasn’t happy to hear some criticism that hadn’t been brought to my attention earlier. (If I don’t know what it is, how am I supposed to fix it?) Then the defining moment – the job offer.

Or not.

I was crushed. Absolutely shocked. Crying hysterically and trying to wipe the mascara out from under my eyes so no one else would know of my failure.

You see, being a bright student, I’d never been told “no” before. I got good grades, made it into honors classes, and was elected for each student council position I ran for. Disappointment wasn’t on my radar.

(Sad face picture)

For a few weeks I was mad at myself. My hopes of graduating and starting my career in bustling Chicago were over. Other employers would ask why I wasn’t working at the place I interned, and when they heard the answer they would most certainly not want me for their team.

But after many discussions with my mom and a few weeks back at school, I realized that there might be a reason I wasn’t offered a job at the ad agency. Maybe I wasn’t performing up to par because the job wasn’t right for me. Maybe my dream life working in the city wasn’t quite as perfect as I thought.

Maybe I was actually miserable.

Yes, after thinking about it, I realized I was actually quite unhappy that whole summer. I was working with a team of girls that didn’t make me feel welcome, my long hours left me nearly no time to do other things, and I felt totally unappreciated on the job. Can you believe I was actually told not to give my opinion in meetings? They didn’t want to hear what I had to say.

That is not the job for me.

I wanted a place where I could make a difference. Where I felt ownership in my role and loved the people I was working with. I wanted to work normal hours so I could have a life outside of work and quite honestly the idea of barely scraping by on a minimal salary in downtown Chicago didn’t sound that appealing. That rejection was a blessing in disguise.

I’m telling you this because sometimes people forget to think about what they truly want. We get caught up in what we think we’re supposed to do — what society says is the path to take — and we overlook what makes us happy. Maybe it does take a little disappointment to get us to step back and figure out where we should truly be.

I still call that moment a disappointment because no matter what I will wish I worked harder and got that job offer. That’s just the perfectionist in me. If I had gotten it I would probably be slaving away in some cubicle at this very moment still convinced that I was doing the right thing. But disappointment or not, it taught me a huge life lesson.

Not only in our careers, but also in our relationships, our health, and our hobbies, we need to make sure we are doing what is best for us. It might mean going through a hard breakup, branching out to try something by yourself, or realizing that distance running might be for the rest of the blog world but it’s just not your thing, but in the end you will be following your heart. Not everyone else’s heart. Not what the world tells us should be in our heart.

Only YOU can make you happy!B