“Sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead.”
I heard those lyrics from Adele last night as I rode home from the OU’s football game and they struck me hard just like they always do.
That line always reminds me of the fact that control is merely an illusion. You can be on top of the world and the next minute it all can come crumbling down.
We have no control. We can’t control what life decides to throw our way. We can’t control the way people treat us or people’s opinion of us. We can only control how we react to the world and the situations we are placed in.
I don’t handle pressure or stress very well. I can crumble and break down pretty easily when I am overwhelmed. In order to stop that from happening, I would do everything in my power to control my situations and prevent and keep all of the difficult things of life at a distance.
I would make lists and goals in a feverish attempt to control my outcomes. I’d have all these grand expectations of life and what it would look like for me.
Guess what? My life looks completely different from those visions that danced in my head. Nothing is as I anticipated or expected.
That’s not a bad thing. My life is wonderful and I am incredibly happy and feel very fulfilled at this point in my life.
I have the opportunity to love fully. I have the opportunity to challenge myself. That’s all I will ever need.
However, the past few years have taught me that all that time spent trying to control the situations and the people around you are futile. It’s a waste of energy and time.
I relinquished the attempt to control things in my life. The moment I gave it up, I felt free. I’m free to be open and let life come to me. Surrender yourself and let the wind carry you.
When we let go of expectations, we are free to be happy and joyful regardless of what life throws our way.
Sometimes life throws me curve balls. I just learn to adjust my swing.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I think that is really important. Life never happens like we expect it, and I think we don’t become happy until we stop trying to control everything. Trying to control your life will just leave you frustrated and stressed. I am still in the process of trying to go with the flow, but over the past couple years I have sure learned that you have to let go and stop trying to control yourself, because life never goes as planned.
Sara @ RunnerWife recently posted..Saturday Happenings
I could not agree with that last line any more. Wonderfully put Lisa. It’s always good to have a plan, but it’s pointless to ever have a strict plan. Life is all about jumping on opportunities when we get them, and rolling with the punches when we’re thrown with a twist. As much as I hate my current situation right now, I’m thankful I’m not a really rigid person. It allows me to still feel happy even when all my plans and aspirations have gone to shit. Or pardon me, are “on hold”
Susan recently posted..Dear Cancer,
I can relate so much. 4 I’ve been there and back. I think that to an extent, the need to control and insecurity come hand in hand. The more happy we are with ourselves, the less we worry about trying to control everything around us.
At times, it feels like we are coming around a huge bend in the road and we just want to know what’s on the other side already (or atleast when we’ll get there) The great thing is, that things tend to turn out so much better than we could have expected them to be. <3
Meg recently posted..Goin’ strong
That is one of lifes greatest and hardest lessons. You just have to let go and let life happen – roll with what comes your way. You can prepare for things and should but you cannot let it get you down when things don’t work out. This is very hard for me but I try to give it up daily.
Denise recently posted..Video to DVD Transfer
dropping expectations was the best decision i ever made. i don’t remember how i stumbled onto the realization, but i am so thankful i did. i realized that just because i expected myself to act and react in a certain way did not mean that other people in my life would do the same. life feels much more…curious to me. and super fun to explore! i love the unpredictability and the endless number of directions it might take.
zoe (and the beatles) recently posted..self-love sunday
I couldn’t agree anymore. Life is so unpredictable and I think thats the great thing about it. If you could control every little thing, life would be pretty boring.
Lindsay recently posted..Life as a Busy Bee (GF eggplant parm recipe)
You hit it on the money when you said “I relinquished the attempt to control things in my life. The moment I gave it up, I felt free.” I couldn’t agree any more. I did the same thing and suddenly my life changed and my happiness increased.
You go girl!
Katie recently posted..Fitness Friday
I’ve been listening to that Adele song over and over again, and that line has been resonating with me. I wish I could give up control on certain things in life, it’s definitely a struggle for me. I’m just hoping for it to just click with me one day.
Amy recently posted..Spaghetti Squash Success
Oh, so beyond true! This is one of the hardest lessons, and I am still struggling to master it. Do we ever? I guess sometimes I am comforted by knowing that everything happens for a reason, and we always end up where we should end up. God has a plan, and we need to resign ourself to knowing that.
Hope all is well, lady..!
Elizabeth @ Mirror in the Sky recently posted..Lizzy Time
what a beautifully written post.
debbie recently posted..i just needed to remind myself
I’ve learned this lesson in the past couple of years as well. Unfortunately, I think it’s one of those things we can only learn through hurt and being let down (whether it’s by ourselves or through another person). But I’m grateful to know this. How many people will spend their lives fighting a losing battle? Not me and not you.
At the end of the day, the only thing we can control are our reactions to situations.
Susan recently posted..My “mon” day…and sleep aids
my very wise dad always says, “don’t drive your life with the hand breaks up”.
let go, make mistakes so you can learn from them.
xoxox
Eden recently posted..“Disorderly” Blog Conduct
Hmmm, I’m a control freak. I LOVE to be in charge of each and every situation. And I’m learning that I just can’t be. Sometimes, you really do have to just let go and let God.
Sometimes, you have to take chances and know that if you do fall, you will get back up again. Life is all about experiences, the good and the bad. And I’m learning, more and more, not to sweat the small stuff. 
Nicole recently posted..Sanity Lost
This couldn’t be more true. Being in control is a complete illusion. I was amazed last week how life can change so much from one day to another. The true “art” is how we ACCEPT what life throws at us.
Alyssa @ Life of bLyss recently posted..Sorry I Ruined It.
Not to relate everything back to pregnancy…but…ever since I’ve gotten pregnant and seen all of the things that my body just knows how to do on it’s own (make room for the baby without squishing my organs, redirect blood flow to the placenta, etc)..I’ve realized that NOTHING is in my control. All these years I’ve wanted control over my body and now I see that it REALLY knows what to do on it’s own. Just like life. Let it flow…
Jamie @ FoodinRealLife recently posted..A Big Day…(delayed)
When I stopped setting my expectations so high, I started truly enjoying being me.
deva @ deva by definition.com recently posted..Basic Pancakes: a Recipe
listening to Adele right now
i find every time something challenging happens in my life (bad day at work, fight with a loved one, money troubles) I take it as an opportunity to reevaluate the strategy i’m using to overcome such obstacles. although with somethings i never seem to learn (money!), its the only way to get through. chin up & thanks for the great post
Caitlin @ Vegetarian in the City recently posted..Candlenut Cake – Aussie Recipe
Those same Adele lyrics keep sneaking into my ears lately. As usual, love our honesty and openness, Lisa. Thanks for sharing your heart with your readers.
Ericka Andersen recently posted..Running with Back on My Feet
totally with you on this about letting go over things we cannot control, it is a wonderful feeling of being “free” and life is leading you down the right path. letting go is one thing I struggle with, but now it is important.
Pure2raw twins recently posted..how we went about our elimination diet
Literally listening to Adele as I was reading this post. Seriously love her. Can you believe she’s only 23?? DANG. Yup you are so right. Just live life!! I’m with ya, I feel way free-er now too
Jessica Lee recently posted..The 3 month check in!!
Great post, Lisa! I seriously feel like you were speaking for me. I always try to take control of my life, but sometimes it’s best to just relinquish control to make your own life a little more peaceful.
Lee @ in the pink of condition recently posted..Team in Training Fundraiser and RAFFLE!
I was meant to pass by your blog today! I recently switched computers leaving me without my “blog favourites” menu. Sadly, I’ve forgotten to stop by for quite some time but today I was reminded
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I can’t say enough “thank you’s” for posting this; I remember making lists when I was a little girl in Sunday school haha. I’ve tried to control it all… school, relationships, my appearance the list goes on. I know in my heart to let it go, and be free, but my brain often likes to take another route. When I hear the words ” Surrender yourself and let the wind carry you” I want to just write it on a big post-it note and carry it with me all day long…. actually I think I just might
Thanks again!
Thanks for this post, Lisa. You are so insightful! I seriously just realized this week that I can drive myself utterly crazy. I try to control everything, and I really just need to learn to chill the heck out.
love love loveeeeee that quote at the bottom of this post!!! stealing/borrowing it!
I love this post. I spend so much of my life trying to control my life, that sometimes I forget to actually live it. It’s really hard for me to just let go…sometimes it sabotages relationships and situations. I really need to work on it..because life’s too short not to.
Emily @ Perfection Isn’t Happy recently posted..Be Back Later
Lisa – thanks for yet another great post reminding me that change is SO inevitable and rather than be fearful of the future, I should be excited for what is to come. I try to tightly grip every single aspect of life and finally letting go has been the best (and hardest) thing to do.
Thanks again! xo -Andi
Yet another brilliant post Lisa!! Just brilliant! i love Adele and that song by the way. Oh life…it is so weird with it’s changes. Sometimes I honestly don’t know how to handle it, but I’m sure with God’s help, I’ll make it through. It can be very discouraging when things don’t go the way you plan, but I’ve learned that it’s not really my plan that matters anyway.
Love it! I was just telling someone that even though I have an awesome life, it’s not what I planned so part of me is still sad. That’s tragic.
RunEatRepeat recently posted..10 am Hunger